B - Beer:
The most disgusting alcohol of all, but great for chugging.
C - Class:
What you're supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party.
D - Dancing:
A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic.
E - Emergency:
The keg is empty or there is no one over 19 in your drinking party.
F - Fucked Up:
Signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out.
G - Games:
Anything that involves cards, dice, quarters, and chugging beers.
H - Hangover:
Reminds you of how great last night was and how much you drank.
I - Idiot:
The guy that spilled his beer on you and everyone else at the party.
J - Jail:
Where you'll end up after trying to either use a fake ID or stagger home.
K - Kissing:
What you'll do to anything that moves after 15 beers.
L - Lord:
Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol.
M - Money:
That which you no longer have due to too much partying.
N - Not Again!:
What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don't know.
O - Officer:
Person usually responsible for ending any party, tending to show up most often at parties where no one is 19.
P - Pee:
What you have to do every five minutes while you're drinking beer.
Q - Quilt:
What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the morning (YUCK!)
R - Reform:
What you promise God you will do while you're puking in the toilet.
S - Sex:
What you did with that person you met last night while you were drunk.
T - Ten:
The number of beers it takes ME to get drunk.
U - Underage:
Most of the drinking population at any given college.
V - Vodka:
The mother of all alcohols and the best way to get drunk in an hour.
W - Worm:
The part of tequila that reminds you of biology class tomorrow.
X - X-Ray:
How they can see into your stomach before they pump it.
Y - Yourself:
The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every weekend.
Z - Zoned:
Your condition for the next 12 hours following drinking.
WAYS THAT EMAIL IS BETTER THAN SEX
If you have sex, your having sex with all the people they had had sex with....and all the people they had sex with.....If you have email
there's usually a list of everyone that's HAD that email....
Email only gets turned off if you decide to turn it off.
You can do email for hours.....without tiring....
WIth email, IT's not the SIZE of the e-mail that counts....
Email has more letters in it than sex.
If you add an "F" to email its female....if you add an "F" to sex its fsex....
There's no female involved in e-"male".
Email doesn't get mad at you if you press all the right buttons...
Three words.....More Function Keys....
You never have to go to a fancy restaurant with some asshole to get "the best email" of your life....
Email doesn't care if you spend quality time with it...
NO ONE NIGHT STANDS....email's always so good you come back for more....
You can do email without undressing.....
The words "Popserver" gets you horny....
You don't have to wrap "gopher" in electrical tape to have a good time
NO WHIPS OR CHAINS REQUIRED! NET PROVIDED!
You can always say....."was that email good for you...because it was for me...." without being embarassed.
Typing sound of the computer much more attractive than "ride me like a pagan beast, cowboy!".
Never have to worry about the jealous husband...
If your email wants to leave you because "It needs more space...", HEY LOOK! There's a "SPACE" Key!!!!!
There's never a lack of good email....Plenty to go around!
Alcohol doesn't make the email any easier! Just funnier!
No runs! no drips! no errors!
Just because you email somebody often, they don't ask for a committment.
