Inward Pain Out

Generation X and Self Mutilation

by Kadij, 2/9/99, for a college composition class

There is no doubt that Generation X is hurting. Suicides are up, violence is on the rise, and divorce is all too common. In the midst of all of this confusion it is no surprise that individuals are searching for new and different ways to deal with the accompanying pain. Ironically, however, more and more Generation Xers are turning to self-inflicted pain as a means of coping.

This coping comes under many names: self-injury, self-harm, self-mutilation, and even self-abuse. No matter which label is used, however, the practice is the same. People who self-injure use their skin to "change their moods" and communicate their pain in a way that words, for them, cannot. They use razors, broken glass, knives, and many other implements to intentionally wound their bodies. They may also burn themselves, bang their heads, break their bones, or even punch themselves. It is not however, a form of suicide, nor are they masochists. Self-injurers are often intelligent, creative, and talented perfectionists: "people-pleasers who cover their pain with a happy face." Often they will be undistinguishable from others, kept isolated and underground by the myriad of dismissals and labels they are faced with when discovered (Strong 18).

Too many individuals report being mocked or judged when they try to share it with someone else. Some people become paranoid and restrict the self-abuser, subjecting them to body searches and total lack of privacy. Not only does this destroy any chance of a trusting relationship, but it accentuates the individual's feelings behind the behaviors. The behavior will then probably increase, but more secretively and creatively. Still others dismiss it as attention seeking and then attempt to ignore it. If indeed the behavior were truly attention seeking, however, it would not be done in secret with every attempt being made to cover it up (Self-Injury "Help for Families and Friends"). Too many people see the symptoms and react, without taking the time to look behind them to the cause.

Two separate studies, one completed independently by therapist Barent Walsh and another done by Van der Kolk, Perry, and Herman, found that a number of factors seem to be directly related to the tendency to self-injure. Walsh discovered that individuals who self-injure were likely to have lost a parent or been placed outside of the home, endured a childhood illness or surgery, or witnessed "impulsive and destructive behavior" such as domestic violence and alcoholism (33-34). The second study done in 1991 found that "exposure to physical or sexual abuse, physical or emotional neglect, and chaotic family conditions during childhood [?] and adolescence were reliable predictors of the amount and severity of cutting." According to the researchers, the earlier the abuse occurred, the more likely the individuals were to cut, and cut severely (Self-Injury "Etiology-Past Trauma/Invalidation as an Antecedent" par. 1). However many self-abusers come from less tormented backgrounds. As children they may have endured their parents' divorce or been verbally abused, while others may have been told never to cry. Whatever the cause, experts say that almost all grew up in homes with poor parent/child communication: "They suffer not just low self-esteem, but absolute self- loathing" (Kalb par. 5).

Unfortunately, due to the breaking down of family structures in more recent history, this problem is not likely to change. Between 1965 and 1977 both the percent of children born out of wedlock and the divorce rate in the U.S. doubled. As time has passed, divorce rates have leveled off and even slightly declined, but it still remains significantly higher than it was before the mid-1960s. In addition to this, the percentage of children born out of wedlock has continued to rise, hitting 30 percent in 1992. Due to the decline in general family structure, "more than 40 percent of today's young adults spend at least some time in a single-parent family by age 16" (Zill "Divorce and Parents" par. 1). Studies have shown that young adults with divorced parents are twice as likely to have poor relationships with their parents. Two-thirds of these young adults reported poor paternal relationships, and one-third reported poor maternal relationships. Comparatively, among young adults whose parents did not divorce, 29 percent report poor paternal relationships and 13 percent report poor maternal relationships (par. 3). In light of all this, it should be no surprise when self-injury becomes the most effective communication of inner pain.

Amazingly enough, the act of self-injury is not really to inflict pain, so much as it is to relieve it. One Gen. X cutter describes his use of self-injury as a form of release: "It's a coping mechanism-a punitive, unpleasant, potentially dangerous one-but it works. It helps me cope with strong emotions that I don't know how to deal with" (Strong 2). That word 'cope' is the key. As self-harmers say it is not an act of suicide, but a fight to stay alive (xviii). Another individual concludes, "There is no hazy line. If I'm suicidal I want to die, I have lost all hope. When I'm self-injuring, I want to relieve emotional pain and keep on living. Suicide is a permanent exit. Self-injury helps me get through the moment" (32). People who self-injure do want to live. The frustration is in being unable to adequately express themselves and get the help that they need. As one Gen. Xer aptly put it, "Self-injury may be desperate, but it is something I can do [. I]t's a kind of hope, a way out. It's not giving up" (3).

Although gruesome, self-injury does seem to be momentarily effective for hurting people, and Generation X is obviously hurting. As a generation plagued by broken homes, abuse, and other losses, Gen. Xers seem to be desperately searching for something they can do about the pain they feel. If all that is received by coming out about self-harm are disgust and degradation, this problem could very well escalate. These individuals already despise themselves (Kalb par. 5). Condemning them can only compound their misery. Until a better way of communicating is taught, and loving concern practiced, it will remain-keeping some individuals alive.

Although the problem of self-abuse is large and widespread, it can be overcome. Bit by bit individuals must learn to let go of their criticism, allow themselves to become informed, and work together in this fight for life. For it is a battle, and currently it is the poorly equipped who are fighting. In this struggle, the key is communication, not condemnation.

Works Cited

Kalb, Claudia. "An Armful of Agony." Newsweek 9 Nov. 1998, US ed.: 7 pars. Online. Newsweek. Lifestyle. 29 Jan. 1999.

Self-Injury. Hp. 22 Jan. 1999 [last update]. Online. Palace Net. Available: http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html. 29 Jan. 1999.

Strong, Marilee. A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain. New York: Viking, 1998.

Zill, Nicholas and John Robinson. "The Generation X Difference." American Demographics. April 1995. Online. SIRS Researcher. 29 Jan. 1999.