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The time has come!
You're finally done with your first semester in college. You battled your way from high school brat to college student. And what have you learned? Well, five students at the University of Central Florida came up with a list of pointers to keep in mind for those future college students...and something for past college students to reflect upon and laugh.
1. Never take that teacher that everyone hates. We at UCF have one.
2. Roommate matching is overrated.
3. Alcohol is coveted by the average college student.
4. Fake IDs are commonplace.
5. All nighters were not as bad as they sounded until you participated in one.
6. The Waffle House is the bomb diggity.
7. High schoolers are so immature.
8. You'll never believe how much you can change in four months.
9. Gen ed is a pain in the ass.
10. Clothes are never dirty until they stand alone.
11. Buybacks are a rip-off.
12. Learn to balance your checkbook.
Corollary: Overdrafts are a bitch.
13. Vacuuming occurs once a semester if you're lucky.
14. Your cleaning skills vastly improve when family comes to visit.
15. Getting mail was never so cool.
16. Everything is political.
17. Fraternities and sororities are convenient if you need alcohol or friends.
18. Chivalry isn't dead--and some boys can prove it!
19. Flirting gets you buff volunteers on move-in day.
20. Ramen noodles are the elusive 7th food group.
21. There are so many hot guys.
22. Cliques are obsolete, unless you count Greek organizations.
23. Free is a college student's favorite word.
24. Professors do not teach; they inform.
25. Tuition is incredibly ridiculous.
26. Everyone is an individual.
27. Most hot guys are in fraternities.
28. Pikes (those in the fraternity Pi Kappa Alpha)--everything you've heard about them is true.
29. Crushes are fun.
30. Psychos can be found at Publix, Knight's Krossing, or in the Student Union.
31. "Triple E" is a retarded phrase invented by a retarded British chemistry professor.
32. RAs suck.
33. A big shock comes to you when you finally realize that people in your class are different ages--and one of them is older than the professor.
34. What do you mean "I'm out of toilet paper"?
35. Hot guys will now be referred to as "Joes."
36. Less studying means higher grades.
37. Donate blood to get free stuff.
38. Cell phones and pagers are everywhere.
39. Scooby Doo never had so many meanings.
40. 4:20--need we say more?
41. Dating guys 10 years your senior is suddenly acceptable.
42. You will find your best friend in college. Guaranteed.
43. College textbooks are expensive.
44. Buying your own Scantrons sucks!
45. Call your parents, even if you don't need money.
46. You will change your major.
47. Dead Sea Scrolls, Mystic Beliefs, and Disney in Pop Culture are real college courses.
48. Cops suck.
Corollary: Never call cops a "copsicle."
49. Don't apply for credit cards (unless it gets you free stuff, and then cut up the credit card when you receive it).
50. NO CURFEW!
51. Everyone parties.
Corollary: If you want to party, just show up. Most of them will be so drunk, they either won't notice or won't care.
52. Move to the top floor in your apartment complex or residence hall. Trust us.
53. Get involved!
54. Keep in touch with old friends while continuing to make new ones.
55. Watch out for bikers, bladers, dorks on skateboards, and especially golf carts.
56. No one sleeps--ever.
57. Denny's is lively at 4am.
58. Take lots of pictures--freeze your memories in time!
59. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
60. Some advisors and professors are hot!
61. Stress and depression are common around finals. So is lack of sleep.
62. Homecoming rules!
63. Show your school spirit.
64. Thermostat fights suck.
65. Knock on walls (and even ceilings) to quiet down your neighbors and/or roommates.
66. Meal plans buy your friends, especially at the end of the semester!
67. Get a parking decal--no kidding.
68. Dress sexy for male teachers.
69. Need I say more?
70. Quarters are good for laundry, tolls, vending machines, etc. Keep them handy.
71. Don't swim in the reflecting pond.
72. Bring an umbrella.
73. Watch the Weather Channel.
74. Go on dates. Lots of them.
75. Girls want older guys.
76. The Queen of Hearts is a man!
77. You will learn things about others you never wanted to know.
78. Run away from the free speech green.
79. Don't change for anyone.
80. Sing in your car at the top of your lungs with the windows down and the retard talking on his cell phone next to you. Who cares?
81. Everyone has seen at least one episode of "South Park."
82. Beware of TAs who no speaka English.
83. You will never again be able to go to class for 8 hours straight.
Corollary: 8am is too early, and more than one class back to back is too much.
84. Add/drop is too short.
85. Sell books back early; you get more money (not much...like 50 cents...but more money nonetheless).
86. Fix your schedule so you don't have to walk very far.
87. Don't walk backwards!
88. Don't lose your ID.
89. Gotta love that deep breath of nicotine you get to take when you walk out of class...
90. When you smoke out in your room, cover the smoke detectors.
91. The physical plant guys are Eskimos; the air conditioning is set on negative somethingorother.
92. Don't drink the water! Ahh!
93. You will have deep discussions, so be prepared.
94. You already know everything; college is when you relearn it.
95. You can always find someone to talk with about your favorite TV show.
96. Get a planner--use it.
97. Become familiar with the library.
Corollary: Especially where that cute guy sits every Tuesday evening... ;)
98. Take those holds seriously--pay fines on time.
99. Be nice to the waiters; sometimes you'll get free dessert.
100. Love your life and live it--it's yours now!
101. Beer comes out of everything if you spill it (or it gets spilled on you--grr).
Amber, Heather, Jessica, Keri, and Michelle
