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GUIDE TO THE SECOND SEASON, 1992
The magic begins! The first scene opens with a pretentious Brooke entering the school, checking her compact. Her friend Kelly remarks with surprise, "You're on time this morning." Brooke, with her never-failing wit responds, "I'm always on time, except when the bell rings early." Brooke's vanity is shown soon after, when Kelly can easily upset her by joking about a non-existent zit on Brooke's chin. The latest gossip from Kelly? Apparently fellow student Courtney was to be found looking "totally tragic" on the steps outside of school, like she'd "lost her best friend". "That wouldn't be much of a loss," Brooke replies, "seeing as her best friend is Ashley Frazier." The character development is so obvious you could cut it with a knife.
Matt soon enters for the first time, asking if Brooke and/or Kelly have seen Ashley, which they reply "no" to. After Matt leaves, Kelly remarks this way about Matt: "I have got to say this, the guy is HOT!" Matt proceeds to the rest of the lounge area of the school (one of the few parts of the school we'll see throughout the show's run), where he meets up with Jake and two other guys who are apparently basketball teammates of his, wearing skank blue and white Hillside letter jackets. Matt is apparently a great player, having scored 29 points in the last game. The other guys proceed to inflate his ego...Jake is established as his good friend, joshing around with Matt. The two talk of an upcoming game, and are having a sort of pep talk for themselves, when the ever-so-lovely Ashley steps on stage for the first time. Ashley is informed that she has stepped in on "an informal meeting of the Matt Walker fan club," which she asks if she can join. She then proceeds to sit on Matt's lap and receives a kiss from the basketball hero. Jake smiles and says, "Whoa ho! Stand back! We're blinded by the sparks of passion!" Brooke and Kelly, in the meanwhile, are watching the action from afar. Brooke shakes her head and says, "If those two don't cut it out, I'm going to gag." I think I'll join ya there, Brookie.
Brooke and Kelly apparently have no respect for Ashley, who, as we find out from Kelly's disdainful talk, "serves on every committee in the school, gets named to the honour roll every single term..." When Ashley passes by the two, Brooke (fashion goddess) proceeds to insult Ashley's current choice of clothing, which is some odd pink and blue number that probably very reluctantly left the bargain rack at K-mart. But if you think *that* was bad, enter Courtney in the next scene, wearing some awful puke green, baggy dress that could have dated back to the 1600's along with an equally color-deficient top. She meets up with Ashley, whom she asks, "Have you seen Billy?" Ashley: "Your brother?" Courtney: "No, Billy Idol. Who'd you think?" Hilarious! Anyway, moving on. Apparently Courtney dissed Ashley the night before on a homework "date." When Ashley asks what happened, Courtney blows her off completely and walks off. Tense music ensues.
"Hi hunk," starts the next scene. Brooke has met up with Matt in the lounge, which is now serving as a cafeteria of sorts. Brooke enters with a tray from god-knows-where, and proceeds to tell Matt about Kelly's opinion of him. Some friend, eh? Brooke leaves after some odd banter, with Jake entering soon after. Jake invites him to some one-on-one in the gym, after insinuating a fact that we will later learn for sure, that Brooke and Matt dated "last term." On the way to the gym, the twosome meets up with Dylan, a character wearing a scary leather jacket and brandishing, get this, **two** earrings. Dylan proceeds to make some sarcastic comments about Matt's basketball ability, and attempts to insinuate a fight with the athlete. This leads to one of the stupidest dialogues in Fifteen, and TV itself, history:
Dylan: It's quite a thrill, standing here having a conversation with *the* Matt Walker...mind if I touch your raiment?
[DYLAN reaches for Matt's shirt]
Jake: His what?
Dylan [condescending]: It means shirt.
Matt: Where did you learn a word like that...steal a dictionary?
Dylan [fuming]: That's it Walker, push it! [insert scary music] Just keep pushing it!
[DYLAN walks off]
Great stuff, eh?
Billy, showing that the fashion sense that his sister doesn't have runs in the family, enters soon after with his skateboard. He meets up with Dylan, whom we learn is his buddy. Apparently Dylan had taught Bill some skating moves, which led to a not so desirable bruise on Billy's part. Billy's character is established as one that looks up to Dylan. God only knows why. Brooke then enters the scene, as she is so apt to do, sarcastically remarking to Dylan, "What a pleasant surprise, bumping into you here...at school, of all places." Brooke then advises Billy to stay away from guys like Dylan ("you'll just end up in juvenile hall"). After she leaves, Dylan tells Billy to stay away from girls like her. Yes, the homosexual overtones are set. Right.
Next scene: Apology time for Courtney. "I was being a real cow," she tells Ashley. :) One of the best lines in the show's history. Especially since that outfit really made her look like one, too! Don't you just love Canada? Anywise, the friendship is intact between the two of them. Courtney is about to spill her guts, and she opens up her can of Sprite to aid her recount, when BAM! The can explodes and spills all over her! Billy, still sitting a few feet away, is obviously the culprit. When Billy approaches, laughing his guts out at his embarrassed sister, he learns that his parents are breaking up!! Enter a plot line that remains for a long time down the road...
After commercials, we return to our first scene at the Avalon. It's between Brooke and Kelly again, as they ponder scary-looking milkshakes. Kelly apparently thinks Dylan is cute, too. Calm your hormones, girl! Brooke has other things on her mind: the Matt-Ashley arrangement makes no sense ("Face it, he could do so much better than her!"). Now she isn't jealous, of course, because she broke him with him last term. Duh. "Sometimes that little school girl really gets on my nerves," she continues. "And sometimes, I think someone should take her off her little pedestal."
Next scene, please! Here we have Matt and Jake in the non-descript locker room, just having dressed in from gym. "Two more weeks of gymnastics," Jake whines. "Matt, I'm not going to survive." Apparently the vaulting horse is planning to kill him. Ouch! BTW, behind Jake is this really cheesy chalkboard with visual descriptions of his well hated vaulting horse. Too stupid to describe here, you'll just have to see the episode. But in any event, Jake wonders if Brooke was flirting with Matt. Sure she was, he replies, but what of it? That's just Brooke. Matt's voice is cracking really bad here... puberty strikes hard when your fifteen. Matt's going out with Ashley, and in his words, "and that's the way I like it." The two then adjust themselves, spit, and saunter out of the locker room. Nah, just kidding. That kind of unbridled masculinity doesn't cut the Nickelodeon censors.
Meanwhile, Courtney is explaining to her brother about all that she knows about their parent's situation. Billy is optimistic, but Courtney isn't. Billy is obviously shaken; "I don't want him to move out, and I'll tell him that! But I think it'll be okay, I really do." Cry me a river. Brooke and Kel move in after he leaves. Yes, they've overheard that her parent's are getting divorced. Courtney corrects their misinformation, and Brooke offers some fake words of encouragement. After Courtney and her God-awful clothes run off, Brooke tells Kelly, "I'll bet that marriage is history." Insert eye roll here.
Now we're back at the Avalon, after school. Jake, Ashley, and Matt are sitting down in a booth, sipping oddly coloured drinks. Courtney's eventual entrance was made obvious by the fact that Matt and Jake were sharing one side of the booth, while Ashley sat alone on the other side of the table. Aren't Matt and Ash going out, I ask myself? Anywise, Courtney soon enters (change that outfit!), and tells them all that things are just going to be okay. She's more worried about Billy ("he's just a kid.") Of course, the other three won't get off her case, telling her that they are there for her...this leads to Courtney asking them politely to get off her case...this leads to some odd facial flinching gesture by Ashley that only doctors will be able to figure out.
Back at Hillside, Billy and his neato skateboard are staying after school, reading a comic. Dylan enters, and offers some great advice. "One of the most important rules of life? Never stay in school a second longer than you have to." Dylan, who was staying after for detention, has heard about Billy's parent's strife. "Bummer," he tells the young Dylan wannabe. Dylan, realizing Bill's sadness, offers to go skating with him after school. Great guy, eh?
Back to the Avalon. Matt is now playing pinball. Ashley enters, and Matt inexplicably lets the ball slowly fall towards the bottom. In this conversation, we get an enumeration of Ashley's many clubs:
Student Government
Yearbook Committee
Drama Club
Intramural Sports (what?)
The computer club
...she also takes piano lessons
We continue with some gross romantic bandy between the two...and then they walk off. Of course, Brooke and Kelly are listening in. Brooke replies, "spare me." She also bets Kelly that she could break off the relationship at any point if she wanted to ("If that relationship is not history by next Friday, I'll let you borrow my leather jacket for a month.")
One table over, Jake and Courtney are talking about their plans for Friday...apparently Jake's plans include watching TV reruns...he timidly tries to set up a movie date with Courtney...she likes the idea, but her plans include a whole group of friends...too bad for Jake...Courtney is about to leave, but then she breaks down..."Oh Jake, they're my parents...they're my Mom and Dad...if they break up, what am I going to do?" Insert suspenseful music, near tears from Courtney, and the end (we thought it would never come) of the historical first episode.
Commercial time!!
Announcer: You're watching Fifteen Weekend, on Nickelodeon!
Boy: Au man! Fifteen Weekend's *still* on? I wanna watch Flipper!
Girl #1: WHAT?!?
Boy: Flipper! You know, dolphin saves everyone?
Girl #1: Just go away!
Girl #2: While we watch every episode of Fifteen ever made.
Boy: Might as well watch.
Girl #1: No, you missed too much already.
Girl #3: No...all he needs to know is that Courtney and Billy's parents are breaking up, Matt and Ashley are a couple, all the girls *love* Dylan, and everybody *hates* Brooke.
Girl #1: Thanks, Diane. Now we're stuck with him!
Announcer: Now back to Fifteen Weekend, only on Nickelodeon.
It's an interesting lesson in demography...people of all ages...and sexes can enjoy the show.
NOTE: If you haven't figured out by this point that I'm making up these titles, get help.
Days later...Courtney is at the Avalon, explaining that her father moved out last night. Funny, it's days later, but the two of them are still wearing the same clothes...Jake is lending an ear, although his eyes probably didn't fool him into not noticing that she is *still* wearing the 1990 award for worst shirt. Jake tries to offer help, but he has no social skills whatsoever around his dreamlover (God, you *are* blind! And what are those huge weird earrings she's wearing!). Courtney's writing ability is discussed...blah blah blah...let's move on. (BTW, next-season-to-be character Dave [the "trainer"] is seen as an extra in this scene, as he will be throughout this season)
Matt's playing pinball again, wearing his same clothes (whoever thought up the idea of a Fifteen marathon must have not noticed this)... Kelly enters, the pinball drops inexplicably once again...who knows what is going on. Kelly has turned on enough fake charm to make Barbie want to gag, as she tells Matt that Brooke and she just *never* see him anymore, since he's so busy with basketball and Ashley. Brooke and Kelly will probably be here at the Avalon tomorrow, according to Kelly...so if you happen to be free... "Actually," Matt interrupts. "I don't know what I'll be doing, but I'll probably be hanging out with Ashley." "Naturally she's the important one," Kelly feigns. "But maybe we'll see you anyway...ciao." Kelly walks confidently away, Matt looks puzzled, and I remark that of the many characters we've seen so far, Kelly has the most talent of them all. And she's gone by the end of the season.
Back at school...Ashley, wearing Matt's letter jacket, is approached by Courtney (yeah! she changed clothes!). Ashley feels guilty that she didn't call Courtney the night before; after all, Courtney's parents *have* broken up. "Ashley," Courtney tells her. "*I'm* fine. You're the one who's all tied up in knots." So is there trouble in paradise with Ashley? Courtney wonders. Ashley is panicking...she KNOWS she failed her English test that she took on Monday. Courtney doesn't want to hear any of it. "That's what you *always* say," she tells her. "And then you always wind up getting 96% or something." Here comes Brooke at this point, who has overheard Ashley's strife. Apparently Brooke and Ashley are in the same English class. "It was really tough, wasn't it?" Ashley asks Brooke. "Was it? I thought it was kind of a breeze...in fact, I almost found it insulting." Ashley is heartbroken...score one for Brookie. Changing subjects, Courtney is apparently impressed by Brooke's choice of clothing, which today is a yellow sweater with diamonds, which looks rather 1986, but compared to Courtney's neo-Puritan look, certainly a step in the right direction. Matt enters the happy group, where Brooke immediately says somewhat "sexually", "It was so nice to talk to you on the phone last night." Ashley is somewhat surprised, but Brooke assures her that it was about nothing but math problems, but "it was...really nice talking to you." Matt looks confused, but has to go meet Jake at the gym (What a shock! Brooke was heading over in that direction as well!) As the two of them leave, Courtney remarks, "Brooke dresses really beautifully, doesn't she? In fact, Brooke *is* beautiful." So now we have gay overtones with Billy and Dylan, and lesbian ones with Courtney. Wow, this really WAS an honest portrayal of teenage life. No, just kidding.
Later on that day, Matt and his rugby of white and blue stripes are at the locker, along with Jake, who is celebrating Denim Appreciation Day. Matt apparently has gotten a note from Coach Williams, the basketball coach. He isn't worried, and Jake further inflates the ego by saying, "He probably wants to know if he should bring the rest of the team to the next game, or if you think you can handle it on your own." Matt laughs and precedes to get a drink from the non-descript soda machine.
On the other side of the lounge/cafeteria/study hall/debate forum, Dylan and his rebellious black shirt/jeans combination are strumming away at the electric guitar (incidentally, if you read the closing credits carefully, you learn that all of Dylan's music was played by someone else...shocking revelation eh?) Young, impressionable Billy enters soon after, wearing an outfit which is so similar to Dylan's it is scary. "That was really good," Billy tells him. "I mean, that was *really* good." Give me a break Nell Carter! The guy strummed what couldn't have been more than three different chords, and Billy's already to lead the Dylan fan club. "Hey, did you know Jimi Hendrix played the guitar left handed?" Dylan asks him, changing the subject. Billy's classic response, "Who?" Matt enters soon after, wondering if Dylan is ready to become a rock star. Dylan is unfazed, and says, "You're a funny guy, Walker. That's what I've always said." Matt soon realizes that Billy has been attending the Dylan School of Fashion Savvy, and calls Billy "a pigmy version" of the rebel. Billy's embarrassed, Matt leaves laughing, and Dylan tells Bill, "Hey, I like your taste in clothes." As Dylan leaves, the smile on Billy's face could blind small countries. Boy I tell you, the two of them are getting closer to a couple EVERY time we meet them.
Now we're in the female locker room, which looks so much like the guy's one, you almost have to wonder if they changed clothes together (hey, this IS Canada, remember). "You want to know something," Kelly tells Brooke. "I hate working up a sweat." "Young ladies don't sweat," Brooke retorts. "They glow." Ha ha ha okay. Kelly wants to know how Brooke's schemes to win back Matt are going--something that Brooke is offended to hear. She doesn't LIKE Matt, she's just showing how easy it would be to take him away. Brooke says everything in that aspect "is going very nicely, thank you. Very nicely indeed!" Brooke leaves, and Kelly pulls off an hilariously close to accurate imitation of her. Gotta love it.
Brooke heads out from the locker room, and is immediately engaged in a conversation with Courtney, to whom she is paying little attention. Courtney is head over heels in admiration (is that all?) with Brooke, and it shows. The two meet up with Ashley, whose is a bundle of joy, now that she got a 92% on that awful English test. So how did Brooke do? "Fine," she says reluctantly. Not so, as we find out. Dylan rips the test away from her hands and reads, "53%?!? 'This shows a lot of improvement, but you still have a ways to go'." Brooke is crushed, and leaves immediately after grabbing her test back. "Brooke just doesn't have a sense of humour at all, does she?" Dylan asks Courtney.
Next scene: tension at the lockers:
Ashley, walking up to Matt: Hi.
Matt: Yeah? (the obvious response)
Ashley: Jake says you had a meeting with your basketball coach...so how'd it go?
Matt walks off in anger, after slamming (at least attempting) his locker door shut.
Commercial time!
Diane, from the last commercial: I wonder if *I'm* the only one who'd never seen the first episode before? At least now I can stop living a lie!
Give me a break.
Courtney meets up with Billy, who is enjoying lunch. Billy's doing fine, supposedly. Courtney apparently wanted to walk to school with her brother this morning, but he'd already left by the time she came downstairs. "It's not my fault you spend two hours in the bathroom." Now Billy, look at your sister...we KNOW that's not true (note, especially if the actress who played Courtney is watching...this is not a shot at Courtney herself, who is somewhat attractive, but rather her clothes, which she probably had no control over). Courtney is angry, because Billy has scrapped the rest of his lunch ("I don't feel like an apple. I feel like a chocolate bar!") Well put. Courtney asks how Billy is doing, he's in denial over the whole dad moving out thing...yadda yadda yadda.
At the Avalon, we get an explanation as to Matt's previous pre-menstrual discomfort. Apparently Matt's coach thinks he isn't working hard enough in practice, and even had the nerve to call him LAZY! But I'm scoring an average of 19 points a game, he whines to Ashley. Apparently Ashley doesn't want to be the complacent little yes-girl that Matt would like, and she can see a point in Mr. Williams' argument. "Maybe he thinks you could score even more if you worked even harder." Then she has to run off to yearbook--"I'm dealing with all this garbage with Mr. Williams, and you can't even find time to have lunch with me!" Wah wah! Shut up, Matt! No one wants to hear it. Ashley shrugs it off and heads back to school. Of course, at a table not too far away, Kelly and two unknown peers are sipping drinks, when Kelly asks if either of them have noticed if something is going on between Matt and Brooke. "It almost seems like he has a crush on her or something," she tells them. The other two haven't noticed anything, because, well, there isn't anything to notice. As Kelly is about to make leave of the two unknown women, she meets up with Brooke's sister, Theresa. Theresa's outfit has to be seen to be understood, but I'll do my best to explain it. It is this odd yellow shirt and overalls number, with a really tacky and large blue denim hat. It looks like something you dress you would dress your 8 year-old in, only on a much larger scale. Apparently, Theresa had overheard the juice about Brooke and Matt, and wants to know if it is true. "I don't really know," Kelly tells her. "What do you think?" "Well, I think..." Theresa starts. Insert cheesy music. "I think that if you don't really know what you're talking about, you shouldn't spread rumors." MEOW!
Brooke wants to know what is up with Matt, as he enters the school looking totally crushed. Matt tells her about "the yo-yo" of a coach, Mr. Williams, and his problems with said coach. "I'm averaging 19 points a game!" he tells her. Would you just shut up with that god damn statistic? You're like a walking Sports section! Brooke of course, kissing up as always, and gives him a pep talk of sorts. "If you're not busy after school..." she starts up. Matt gives her the polite dis, which pisses her off, and he just walks off without a thought. Dylan is right there, watching the whole thing. It doesn't take too long before she propositioning him as well (the whore!). "After school, I'll probably be at the Avalon." This isn't a date, it's a social calendar with a voice! Dylan is quick to pick up on the fact, and jokes that he and Brooke should forget the Avalon and head to Paris. "Don't be such a pig," she tells him. "No guts, eh? Too bad." Dylan replies. And besides, I'm sure he has something hot and sensuous planned with Billy.
Now let's visit Brooke's house for the first time. Wall snapshot: We have photos of Paula Abdul, Bruce Springsteen, and some other guy who probably was once up on my sister's wall...back in the mid '80s. Enter Theresa...who reminds Brooke not to forget that she has to be home at 5 PM on Friday to get a phone call for her mother, since her mother isn't going to be there. Wait a minute, does this make any sense? Someone has to be there just to tell the person on the phone that their mother can't answer the phone? In the decade before this show aired, they invented something called an answering machine that served this exact purpose. But anyways, Brooke assures her sister that she'll be available, which is important to Theresa, since she has to attend Crystal's birthday party. Theresa tells Brooke that there's been "talk" around school about her and Matt. "Well, people know that two of you used to go out together, and they probably think you're still interested in him." Ouch girl, do you know who you're dealing with here? "I broke up with him!" proclaims Brooke, again. "But, of course, it wouldn't be my fault if Matt was still interested in me..." Theresa starts to bitch at her, but Brooke doesn't want any of it, and scoffs off.
Brooke confronts Kelly about the "rumors" later on at the Avalon..."Spreading gossip again, Kelly? That's *such* a nasty habit." Is she making any progress, Kelly wonders? "Don't worry about that. If I want Matt to take an interest, he'll take an interest." Sure it's unfair to Ashley, but, in the words of Brooke, "it's not my fault I can't stand her." Brooke pledges to take some action here and now against the two of them, and whispers a plan to Kelly.
Jake, Matt, and Ashley are playing pinball, and Jake tells him not to worry about that basketball deal. Matt says he's only pissed cuz they keep bringing it up, to which Ashley responds, "Only because you're the one who's in such a bad mood." Anywise, the weekend's coming up, and it's time to make plans. Apparently Matt and Ash have a Friday movie date, but what 'bout Saturday? Let's have a party! According to Matt, Jake should find out where the party is, and Matt will go ahead an line up the customary case of beer. "You can't have a party without beer," Matt states. "Actually, you can," Ashley tells him. Matt feels a lecture coming on, and doesn't want a part of it: "It isn't totally unusual for a guy to have a few beers on Saturday night." Ashley politely tells him that he drinks more than once a week. "I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING HASSLED!" he tells them. He storms off, and we hear Ashley lament, "He's changing Jake...what's wrong with him?"
Welcome back to the fun that is Fifteen. Today's show starts off in Brooke's room. Brooke is looking somewhat fashionable, but her sister Theresa has come up with a green and white polka dot number that didn't even MAKE the bargain rack at K-mart! But fashion problems aside, the pair of sisters are discussing the plan to deal with the important phone call. "You'd think if Mom had such an important phone call, she'd be here to answer it herself," Brooke ponders. My thoughts exactly. Theresa reminds Brooke how important it is that she be there, seeing as Theresa has Crystal's party. Brooke assures her that she'll make it, and then walks over to the door, yelling, "I'll be another 10 minutes, Kel, why don't you come on up instead of sitting on the stairs like a LOSER!" MEOW! Kelly comes up, and Theresa is kicked out. "Is everything ready?" Brooke asks her. "Everything's ready," Kelly tells her. Hmm...something's cooking, and it isn't just Canadian Bacon!
At Hillside, Matt is wearing a light blue shirt of apology, coupled with Ashley's pink disaster look. Ashley takes the apology very well, trying to avoid the drinking topic altogether, which is brought up slightly by Matt, but dropped quickly. Matt purchases a soda, and asks her, "Are we okay again?" Ashley tells him yes, but in a very non committal fashion. Matt senses something is up, and after a little prodding (and the revelation that the two of them have been dating five months!), finally gets Ashley to ask if there is anything "going on" between Brooke and Matt. Matt assures her, "There is nothing going on between me and Brooke." "You used to go out with her," Ashley tells him. "That's why I stopped going out with her," he rebuts. Does that make any sense? In any event, Ashley asks him, "You wouldn't lie to me, would you?" He tells her that of course he wouldn't lie...it turns into an apology fest...Ashley ends it by asking, "Are we okay again?" Matt replies, "Yeah, we're great." Au...for now.
We finally get the details behind the plan back at Brooke's house...it's the classic "I'll-send-a-letter-and-make-someone-think-I'm-somewhere-where-I'm-not scheme." Kelly reads off a letter that reads as follows:
"Jake, I'll be at the mall at 7:30...meet me there, Matt." Brooke reads off the next note:
"Matt, I need to talk to you, and it's REALLY important...just meet me at the Avalon at 7:30. Thanks, your friend, Jake."
The plan is foolproof, according to Kelly. She even got her sister's boyfriend to write the notes, so they'd be in a guy's handwriting. Brooke has her doubts. "What if Matt doesn't do what the note says?" Kelly assures her that the dire sound of the note will make sure that Matt goes to the Avalon. As an aside, I have to wonder what Matt would think was wrong with Jake? I mean, why wouldn't Jake just CALL Matt if there was a problem, instead of setting some secret meeting up, like they were spies or something. In any event, the plan is in action. The notes will be delivered after school, so there is no chance that the two of them will bump into each other. "Kelly, you can be soooo sly sometimes," Brooke compliments her friend.
Back at Hillside, Ashley and (gasp! what is she wearing now! Some blue and white top with lace coming down in a v-shape! Make it stop!) Courtney are entering together, with Ashley reading one of Courtney's poems. Ashley's full of compliments for the budding writer and...oh no! Ashley suddenly realizes she has forgotten her gym clothes. Courtney (and I) wonder what the big deal is. Well, it seems that she left her gym clothes at home twice last month, and Ms. Leddingham said that if it happened again, that Ashley would be sent off to reform school...whoops, getting my story lines mixed up here. In any event, Ashley declares, "I'm meat!" (not dead meat, just meat).
After Ashley declared that she's turned into some kind of pork product, we turn to the ever-scheming Brooke, who's decided she's going to flirt with Matt the old-fashioned way...insults. "So what's this...nerd out time?" she tells him, as she sees him studying in the ambidextrous lounge/cafeteria/concert hall. Matt's hard at work, she notices, and tells him, "Well, I'd guess I'd better not interrupt you." Matt smiles, and Brooke starts to leave...but of course she's not done talking. Brooke's apparently decided to smoke crack rock this morning, and is going to bumble her way through a chat with Matt.
B: "So what's up for this evening?" (It's Friday, by the way).
M: "I think I'm going to catch a movie with Ashley...the new one with Mel Gibson.
(I think in 1991 that would be "Macbeth"...)
B: "Sounds great...you...and Ashley...the happy couple...sharing an evening together."
(Maybe it was a mixture of crack rock and some barbiturate of sorts)
M: "Yeah...something like that."
At this point, Matt's about ready to slap her silly, but then friendly Olaf enters the picture. Olaf, our Finnish friend who will only be with us this one season, but will leave enough memories to last a lifetime.
"GEEK ALERT!" Brooke sounds the alarm.
"Who on Earth would name a kid Olaf?" Matt says, suddenly impressed with Brooke's biting wit.
Not one to be left out of a great conversation, Olaf joins them. "Excuse me, I think I have a problem," he shares with them.
"Let me guess...you're lost," Brooke offers.
"Yes," he tells them. "I seem to have dislocated myself."
Admittedly, that's a pretty damn funny line. "Medics, quick...we have a dislocated Olaf!" Matt says, and that's about as classic right there. Well, Olaf can't seem to find Room 114B, and Matt proceeds to give him this obviously bullshit explanation that confused the hell out of him. Cindy to the rescue! Our somewhat fashion-conscious friend (that a'int saying much) politely tells him where it is and even offers to take him there, but not after Olaf idiotically thanks Matt and Brooke for their help. Sigh
Back to the Avalon. Brooke is sitting alone, sipping red drink, when suddenly an Avalon employee swipes her drink, which is still half full...Brooke doesn't care, but the poor Avalon woman can't pick the drink up, because she has 3 in her hands already, and it takes her way too long to do it. Should have reshot the scene. Kelly is almost *twenty* minutes late when she finally joins Brooke, and Brooke let her feel damn stupid for being late. Well, it seems like Kelly's news warrants her tardy slip. Ashley has been caught running "at least 800 laps". Ashley's been caught skipping school!
Ashley shows up a few minutes later, joining Courtney, Matt, and Jake at the Avalon. It turns out that she skipped class by going to library...smart move! Ashley kinda freaks out at this scene, saying she's developed a new reputation...she then starts going into this Tourette's Syndrome-esque laughing sequence.
Back at school, hours later, Jake and Courtney decide to head over to the Avalon (where else?) after school instead of working at the library...Billy wants to tag along, but Courtney blows him off. Bad move, Billy's seeds of destructive tendencies are being sewn!
Now we have Cyndi and Olaf--Olaf can't seem to figure out what "ostracize" means, and Cyndi politely explains that that is what everyone at school is doing to poor Olaf.
Back at the Avalon (again), Ashley and Dylan are talking about how Ashley has turned into a criminal, and since Dylan is the expert at such things, they have plenty to talk about. Matt shows up and gets a bit jealous, and Dylan leaves with a smirk and a suggestive comment. You can see the smoke coming out of Matt's ears! So what about the date for tonight? Nope! Matt's has "Jake's" note that he must see Matt, so the date is off! Ashley's disappointed, but life goes on.
Uh oh...back at Brooke's...Theresa is not happy! Brooke forget to stay for the "important message"! Theresa has missed Crystal's birthday party!!! "You promised! And you didn't even care enough to remember," Theresa bitches. Sigh.
At the Avalon, the plot continues. Kelly calls Ashley to hang out at the Avalon. Sure, Kelly supposedly hates Ashley, but Ashley doesn't seem to think anything's up. The two will meet at the Avalon...and what will they see??? Read on!
Back at the garage, Billy has wandered over to visit Dylan. Dylan's slightly surprised, but the two engage in a jam session anyway. Billy sucks, but it's all in fun.
Now, the big moment! Will the plan work? Back at the Avalon, Matt is "waiting for Jake" (who's at the Mall waiting for him)...Brooke wanders over in her new (ugly) outfit and shoves her hand ("showing Matt her ring") in Matt's face. Seconds later, Kelly and Ashley show up, and despite Kelly's "efforts" to shield Ashley away from seeing the moment, Ashley witnesses the disastrous scene. "Don't even bother talking to me! Ever!" Ashley yells, running off. Brooke's sly grin is priceless.
(capsules are getting shorter from here on...the old format took forever!)
School day starts with Matt trying to phone Ashley, but he gets the hang up treatment...she's not happy yet! Billy and Courtney are discussing Dad's visit to dinner last night---Billy's very optimistic, Courtney's not. Courtney sees Ashley, who hasn't slept..."Matt who?" Ashley says. Courtney thinks Ashley should give Matt a chance to explain, but she's "betrayed". In the locker room, Matt is bitching about the same thing to Jake. Jake tells Matt to be "not so macho", and the two have a "sensitive talk"...their discussion unravels the Brooke/Kelly plot, and revenge is discussed! Courtney and Billy are eating lunch, discussing Billy's new friendship with Dylan. Billy now "plays drums." But Courtney has doubts about their friendship...Dylan's two years older and pretty WILD after all---not a good influence. Courtney tries to explain herself, but all she can say is, "Dylan's interesting...I guess he's pretty attractive...well, I don't think he's attractive, but I can see why other girls would think so." Billy just thinks she's stupid, and leaves. Jake is next found trying to convince Ashley to hear Matt's side, and finally wins Ashley to see the hurt basketball stud at the Avalon. The two meet, Matt pondering his milk and sandwich...Ashley discusses what she knows, and Matt pleads to her that he's been set up. Then...the big line...Matt says he LOVES Ashley! That does the convincing. Back at school, Courtney (who looks likes she wearing a condom on her chest), is nervously trying to thank Dylan for befriending Billy. She also throws in a line about wanting to hear him play music sometime...the FLIRT! At the lockers, Kelly and Brooke are congratulating themselves on their plot, but uh oh! Matt and Ashley walk by holding hands! Billy then meets up with Olaf, who's playing himself at chess:
"Who's winning?" Billy asks.
"Me," Olaf replies. "I'm giving myself a terrible beating."
How masturbatory.
It looks like Billy and Olaf may become friends...stay tuned. Ashley and Court are in the locker rooms, and Court thinks that maybe Brooke wasn't to blame for the evil plot. Ash is not convinced. The conversation switches to Dylan, and Court wonders what she thinks of him. Court makes it pretty damn obvious she's in love. Jake confronts Brooke about the incident, and accuses her of the crime...but in an odd twist, Brooke blames the whole thing on Kelly! Jake informs Matt, Ash, and Court about the news, and only Court believes the story is plausible.
Court: "Well I know Brooke can sometimes be sort of a..."
Matt: "What's the word she's looking for?"
Jake: "Five letter word, rhymes with witch."
Meow! Profanity on Nick! Brooke comes over and tells the same tale to Matt and Ash...nice fake charm. Everyone leaves but Court, who goes over to compliment Brooke on her clothing taste and to tell Brooke that she believes her. Court goes on to say she has wardrobe purchasing plans, making Brooke think something is up in Courtney's "love life" (hehe). Later, at the garage, Billy (and then Courtney) show up to provide Dylan company. Billy's slightly miffed by his sis's appearance, she's too starry-eyed to notice. At the Avalon, Kelly confronts Brooke in a classic scene:
Brooke: "Oh hi, I was wondering when you were going to show up...did you want to talk or something?"
Kelly: "That's one way to put it."
B: "What's the other way?"
K: "Maybe I'd rather yell and throw things!"
Brooke tries to convince Kelly that K was just egging her on to do the plan. Kelly tells Brooke that there will be hell to pay, but Brooke soothes her by telling her that "there'll be revenge!" After Brooke leaves, Kelly turns on the melodramatic charm: "Yeah, it make time some time, but there'll be revenge Brooke, and you can take MY word on that."
Looks like there is a family announcement going down at the Billy/Court house. Billy thinks it's great news, and even wants to bet with the pessimistic Courtney about what's going to happen. Back at the Avalon, Matt bitches to Jake about how the coach is giving him a hard-on, er, hard time again. Sure he's thrown a few hook shots into his routine, but come on! Jake says something that makes him shut up (thank God). Back at Brooke's posh house, Theresa wants to know if it's true that her sis was trying to break up Matt and Ash. Brooke throws her old tale down, and the situation is settled. Back at the school, Court is trying to convince Matt and Jake that Dylan is sensitive. The guys aren't convinced. Oh, and by the way, she's wearing something provocative to school today (i.e. you can see her legs). The guys toss around the idea that Court likes him, but discard it. Kelly and Theresa meet, and Theresa wants to know if Brooke's version of the tale is true. Kelly, teed, blows it off and says some cryptic line that only confused Theresa more. Later on, Brooke and Court meet up, and of course Brooke has heard that Court was over with a "secret meeting" with Dylan. Brooke tries to ask some leading questions, and leaves convinced that Court has fallen for the Canadian teenage version of James Dean. As fate would have it, Dylan enters the scene...Court goes over to chat, but he's mad! How dare she tell people that he's a talented musician? His music is his own damn business! Court is CRUSHED!
Back at the Avalon, Jake and Ashley discuss Courtney's intentions with Dylan...we finally see Jake's love for our fashion-lacking friend after he seems distressed by the possibility that Court may like Dylan. Back at school, Brooke is being ignored by Kelly. The two begin to discuss Courtney's new outfit, and they start to go into a bitch sequence...and of course Court walks right by ("Oh well, she might as well know the truth," Brooke argues.) Dylan runs into Courtney (who's since changed clothes back into her Medieval look) later on that day. He apologizes, and wins her over immediately again. He asks in passing why she changed clothes, and adds, "Well I kinda liked it...I thought it made you look, you know...hot." Yeah right. Courtney holds back from fainting.
As Dylan goes to his locker, Theresa attempts to make conversation and goes into this horrific dream sequence where the two of them start dancing to romantic music. He's apparently a foot and a half taller than her as well. Back at the Avalon, Courtney and Jake are drinking purple and yellow drink, respectively. Courtney admits the truth about her love for Dylan, leaving her "best friend" crushed. Theresa and Brooke are chatting back at her house, and Theresa makes the mistake of admitting she likes Dylan. Brooke proceeds to insult her. At the garage, Dylan and Courtney are talking, and it seems like she has written him some song lyrics.
Courtney has to go to her "family announcement," but, SHOCK! On the way out, Dylan kisses Courtney. If you don't cringe at this scene, you're a strong viewer. Court goes on the search for her bro after Mom says that Billy ran off from the house...a teary-eyed Bill tells Court that the family announcement was...DIVORCE! Last scene: Matt and Ashley are all happy...Matt gets something to drink, Ash takes his bag...hears a clunk...and what's that noise in there? UH OH! A flask! And it smells like alcohol!
Ashley and Jake enter school, and Ashley wonders if she's overreacting about Matt's drinking. Jake assures her that Matt's drinking isn't your average let's-get-drunk-at-age-fifteen type shenanigans. Ashley informs Jake that she found a flask in Matt's backpack:
Jake: A flask of what?
Ashley: Of buttermilk, what do you think?
Meow. Jake informs Ashley that Matt may be an alcoholic, and the two of them discuss how tough it is to talk to Matt about his problem. Matt interrupts the AA founder's meeting, and the discussion turns to that of basketball. Apparently there's a game tonight, and that awful Coach Williams is still evil. Jake leaves the table early, hoping Ashley will broach the alcohol discussion with Matt. Matt admits that the two looked "pretty intense", but Ashley gets interrupted by random basketball teammates before she can get a word in.
Enter Billy and Olaf from the back of the school. Apparently Billy's Dad moved out and now he may be moving out as well. Apparently no one wanted to hear Billy's opinion on the matter...Olaf thinks two guys living on their own could be fun, and Olaf even suggests that Billy can help his father "loosen down"...close enough Olaf. Courtney enters the scene, trying to remember Olaf's name (she calls him Omar...that guy from Sweden)...Billy's slightly miffed by his sister's ignorance. Court wants to check to see if her bro hasn't taken blades to his wrist yet. And of course, Courtney overheard that Billy is planning to visit Dylan after school, but Courtney was invited to visit him...conflict of course ensues. Of course, if Dylan was willing to accept his bisexuality, the three could have had a thressome and everything would have been okay. Instead, Billy moves on to open a pizza place with another guy and a girl...oh wait, that was a few years later. Point is, Billy's damned miffed that his sis is moving in on Dylan.
At the Avalon, Court and Ashley are chatting. Courtney sent Ashley a note for them to meet...it's because Courtney is in love with Dylan! Court tells Ash about their big kiss, and Courtney is still shocked that someone like him would notice her. She's "never felt this way before"...Ashley meets the news with cautious enthusiasm.
Jake and Ash are in our next scene...Matt and Ash haven't had a chance to talk, and now Matt's shooting hoops in the gym ("I can't exactly talk to him while he's shooting hoops; 'Hi Matt, put the ball down and let's discuss your drinking problem,'" Ashley says with a sigh). Ashley, being the friend that she is, tells Jake all about Courtney's big crush. Jake is of course shocked.
A rare chat between Kelly and Theresa follows. Of course, we're discussing Brooke. Theresa bitches about the Crystal birthday party. Kelly agrees that Brooke can be thoughtless, and Kelly offers some words to lead to the point that K is no longer too thrilled with B.
Courtney visits Jake in the next scene...Jake's drawn something pretty impressive (we don't see it), and Courtney likes. Jake tells Courtney he knows, and at first she's mad at Ashley, but Court just opens her heart out to Jake. In fact, Courtney now says that she and Dylan are going out...Jake suggests that "a guy like Dylan" is a "walk on the wild side" and "he's got the reputation for picking up girls and dropping them." Jealous bastard. In fact, Jake knows that Dylan got taken to the principal's office *just this morning!* Well Brooke has overheard this and tells the two of them that the principal offered Dylan a rock concert at school. Courtney gushes with emotion, Jake turns even greener, and Brooke, well Brooke just kinda watches everything with her token smirk.
In the locker room, Matt and Jake are chatting. The two are talking about Dylan's concert, and the conversation goes onto the new "relationship" between Court and Dylan. Both are disapproving, to say the least. Jake offers a slight notion of his Courtney love here, but Matt is too dense (drunk?) to pick up on it.
Kelly and Brooke are talking about Brooke's big 12-page paper at the lockers, and B. suggests that Kelly's sister (who's in the 12th grade mind you), write it FOR Brooke (apparently this sister runs an underground paper writing business of sorts). Brooke needs it for tomorrow, and will pay $10 for it...Kelly objects for a second, but Brooke won't hear of it. The two of them then see Dylan, and of course now that Dylan's famous, Brooke wants a piece of the action.
Dylan meets up with Billy, who can't wait for Dylan's concert ("It's going to be HARSH!" Billy observes). Billy offers his drumming services...Dylan doesn't need. Courtney enters the scene and tries to steal the show (her brother in none the happier). Courtney's still gushing with glee about the concert, which Dylan plays off as no big deal. Billy leaves the two alone. Dylan doesn't even know if he's going to do it! Courtney offers homework for the budding rocker in case his music takes too much time, and just before Court is prepared to ask him for marriage or something, Brooke enters the scene. Dylan leaves the two together, and Courtney tells Brooke that the two of have started going out. Brooke is JEAL-OUS.
The team is talking again at the Avalon, and as the teammates fawn over Matt, Dylan enters the scene. In a blow to Matt's masculinity, the boys go over and decide to fawn over Dylan instead. Ashley is left alone with Boy Wonder Matt, and Matt bitches to her about what a freakshow Dylan is. Enough to make you drink.
Theresa offers Brooke a trip to the mall, but Brooke is busy. She is wearing a bathrobe and trying to decide on an outfit...apparently she's going to drop in on someone (could it be Dylan)?
Back at the Avalon, Ashley and Matt are still discussing Dylan. Matt is the one who's jealous now, and Ashley even suggests that Matt is envious. Matt is hoping that Dylan screws things up, Ashley is offering reasons why the concert might be a good thing for Dylan. Matt comes to conclusion that Dylan is a "hopeless loser"...with that out of the way, Ashley tries to start the drinking conversation, but there's no time...Matt's a man on the run
At school, Olaf is doing chess masturbation again. Billy enters the scene and is bored. Olaf notices that Billy is sorta down, mainly because his boyfrien--er, friend, Dylan didn't have time for him. The two start to play chess, and Billy flashes a smile.
Brooke has already leeched her way over to the garage (she was just passing by of course); Dylan gives her the time of day. She's wearing a hot outfit that she models for him. Brooke requests a song, and gets one...as Dylan picks up the guitar, Brooke sits a little too close next to him...what could happen next? Of course, Courtney walks in, sees the two together, and then flees the scene. ("Did I interrupt something?")
(another short capsule)
The game is over...Hillside won 61-60...token Asian player and his friends are discussing the win. Matt enters with Ash and Jake in tow, and Matt's not too happy because he saw limited playing time. Apparently Matt's a ball hog...Ashley tries to help Matt look on the bright side, but he doesn't wanna hear it. Brooke and Kelly enter the school the next day, talking about Courtney's awful reaction the previous day. Brooke thinks Dylan's already attracted to her. Kelly gives Brooke the paper her sister wrote for Brooke, and Theresa overhears. Theresa plays the moral game, but Brooke doesn't seem to care.
Matt's decided the best way to deal with Williams, the temperamental coach, is to bitch him out. Jake warns him against it, and gets Matt to put things on the back burner for awhile, but on the condition that Williams eases up. At school, Olaf is giving Billy chess lesson in his best Mr. Rogers sweater vest. In another Olaf English foul up, Olaf counsels Billy that to surprise your chess opponent, you must come at him from right field. Billy is still down apparently, because he doesn't like living with Dad. Billy doesn't want to hurt his Dad's feelings. Olaf suggests that Billy's feelings are important too, and that he should talk to his sister. As they say in Finland, "It's better to talk to a friend, than to stew in your own silent juices...that doesn't translate too well." Olaf, won't you be my neighbor?
Brooke sees Courtney at the lockers, and Courtney is PISSED. Brooke wonders what's up with Courtney, and assures her that nothing was going on between her and Dylan. Courtney seems appeased, but Brooke has enjoyed the scene too much. Courtney tells the story to Ashley at the lockers, and Court is so relieved, because she could NEVER compete with someone like Brooke. Ashley offers minimal support.
Dylan and Brooke meet up at the lounge. Apparently Dylan's parents don't care if he skips classes, as he did this morning. The two make idle chatter...Dylan's apparently kinda excited about the concert at this point. As Brooke's about to leave, the bitch pulls out a present for the rocker...a music box. As she leaves and Matt and his friends enter, Matt can't get enough of wussy little Dylan playing wit his little kiddie box. It isn't long before Matt's jealous rage allows him to say things like, "Where did you get that? From the little fairies that live at the bottom of your garden?" Now now Matt, isn't it a bit hypocritical for you to be talking down on fairies? Anyway, it's not long before the two get in a James Dean-esque pushing war. "One of these days I'm going to take your head off," warns Matt after his friends break the two apart. Hmm, sounds like an odd Matt fantasy to me.
Ashley and Jake are talking about the "brawl", and Ash isn't happy that Matt egged him on (which is true). Ashley is worried about this turn in his behavior. Jake thinks that Matt snuck out to have a drink before the fight, which might have explained the behavior. Ashley thinks that talk is LONG overdue. Meanwhile, Courtney is trying to talk to Dylan about Matt's "attack," and Dylan plays it off like no big deal. "Okay...tough guy," Courtney says with a smile. UGH! Courtney has apparently re-written the lyrics to one song, and wants to work the song out with Dylan. Dylan would rather practice alone. Point is, Courtney gets the dis. Oh no! Wait! It's another Fifteen dream sequence!!! AARGH! This time, rock star Dylan comes out on stage and pulls Courtney up with him. It's very similar to that Bruce Springsteen video...except, Courtney can't dance to save her life. She looks like she has a tick.
Meanwhile, Brooke and Kelly are for some reason talking about Olaf. How weird he is, and how weird Finland must be (the only two Fins I know personally are nothing like Olaf, BTW). Billy overhears, and initially tries to stick up for the guy. The two chicks just proceed to make fun of him as well. Courtney interrupts the three and has to talk to Billy alone. Courtney, to make it blunt, wants to rob Billy of any info he has on Dylan, especially if he talks about her. Billy, although clueless he is doing so, disses his sister by saying that Dylan doesn't even cough things that sound like "Courtney." Actually, Billy finally realizes she has a crush on him. Courtney makes a deal that she'll rent her bro two videos if he asks Dylan about Courtney.
Theresa and Brooke are at the house, and Theresa isn't happy that Brooke is making a move on Dylan. Theresa thinks that she's only interested in Dylan because people are making a fuss about him. Theresa goes as far as to threaten Brooke to tell her English teacher the truth about the paper; some good quality acting here (sarcasm aside) by the both of them, and some good evil stares too. Billy meets her sister at the Avalon, and tells Courtney that he saw Dylan with Brooke. Court is c-r-u-s-h-e-d.
Actually, now we go to garage. Brooke IS over, and she asks Dylan to play something by the Grapes of Wrath (who?) Brooke gets Dylan to ask her out to the concert of said band. But look who's playing hard to get! Brooke is actually going to concert with "Terry" (he's in the 12th grade apparently). She leaves the scene early, to meet her new "boyfriend." Dylan feels the burn. Brooke meets up with Kelly and celebrates how she's leaving Dylan "good and anxious" (whoa).
Meanwhile, at the pinball machine, Ashley FINALLY gets to talk with Matt. Ashley says, "I'm really afraid you're an alcoholic." Ashley even goes as far as to say that she found the flask. Matt gets angry:
Matt: "What I've got is a girlfriend who can't mind her own business."
Ashley: "But it is my business because I love you!"
Matt suggests that she should drop it or find someone else...
Cyndi starts this episode, posting environmental ads all over school. Courtney sees her, but doesn't offer help. Cyndi gives her the guilt trip for it. At the Avalon, Ashley and Jake are discussing Matt's reaction to Ashley's dealing with his drinking situation. Ash appears mighty confused as to what to do next. Of course, Ashley tries to blame herself (all those committee meetings, ya know). The two decide they have to keep the drinking subject under wraps for now. Jake offers his services to help, but he's not too confident.
Dylan enters school soon after and meets up with Courtney. She's not paying too much attention to him. Apparently Dylan has gotten a warning from his science teacher that if he doesn't shape up, the concert ships out. Courtney continues to give him the cold shoulder, finally bitching him out. Dylan says their kiss did mean something, but Courtney is sure that Brooke has moved in on her. Dylan fights back with the "Terry" story, leaving Courtney, again, feeling like "a cow." Billy enters the scene soon after, and the two discuss living apart from each other. The two discover that their father is going out of town, and being to discuss the possibility of a "harsh" party...Matt overhears and starts spreading the news before Court and Bill can make the party official. Well, you know Matt's got to have SOME reason to drink...
Later on in the locker room, Matt and Jake are talking. Jake tries to bring up the drinking thing, but can't get the nerve...until Matt mentions the party plans of Billy and Courtney. Jake suggests that the party could be fun without the customary cases of beer, and Matt flies off the handle. Matt isn't too happy that his best friend and girlfriend are "whispering behind his back."
At school, Matt and Brooke are talking about the party. Cyndi interrupts everyone with her environmental spiel, much to the laughs of B. and M. Apparently, the school is an "ecological disaster area", and only she and Olaf seem to care. Brooke reminds her that people have "better things to worry about." When Olaf starts off with his, "Back in Finland..." story, Brooke replies, "In Finland, *everyone* must be just like Olaf, which must be wonderful." Bitch. Billy witnesses the scene, and seems to be rethinking his Olaf friendship.
At the lockers, Courtney and Ashley are discussing the party. Ashley again provides minimal support. Courtney still is hooked on the Dylan thing, asking Ash for support. Ash tells her to be careful, but Courtney is excited that the party is the same day as Dylan's concert. At the Avalon, that same Dylan is approached by Brooke. He's not too excited to see her. She wants to know if he's going to the party, but Dylan doesn't seem to know, and he even mentions Terry to her. Of course, "Terry" and Brooke have broken up since the two last chatted. In what has to be the most desperate invitation ever, Brooke gets Dylan to "invite" her to Courtney's party (Dylan actually asks if Brooke is coming on to him), and she leaves before he can say no...
Courtney apologizes to Dylan later that day for her way of acting to him that morning. Dylan tells her to forget about it, but she does take the opportunity to invite him to the party. She moves on to see Brooke, who informs her that Dylan "invited her" to that same party. Brooke apologizes for stepping in, with her token fake charm. Billy shows up soon and meets up with Olaf, and gives him the cold shoulder, prompted by everyone's reaction to Olaf.
At the Avalon, Courtney commiserates with Jake over the Dylan turn of events. Jake thinks Dylan's totally lousy, but can't help but be kinda happy that Courtney's "single" alone. Jake is still miffed that Courtney has feelings for the jerk and tells her she needs to move on. Courtney gives a great prompt to Jake when she says, "Guys just don't like girls like me," but he falls short of professing his love for her. Cyndi enters after Courtney leaves, as she vents her anger about the zipper heads at the school. Cyndi sees Jake's frog drawing and compliments his talents.
At the garage, Billy is chatting with Dylan. Billy wants to know what Dylan thinks of Courtney. Apparently, Dylan, "Likes her as a friend, she's a good kid." Billy leaves Dylan alone to practice, but before he takes his leave, Billy takes Dylan's homework assignment for him, since Dylan won't make it to class tomorrow. Billy does hear from the rocker that Dylan might have some feelings for Brooke as well...
At the Avalon, Ashley and Matt are still fighting. Matt continues to give her the break up or shut up ultimatum again. Ashley assures Matt that he's in denial. Back at the garage, Brooke warns Dylan about missing classes. The two have a humorous conversation about his image, which ends with Dylan mention the gossip he's heard about the two's relationship. This leads to a classic Fifteen dialogue:
Dylan: "I must be crazy...because I'm almost starting to think I could get hung up on you."
Brooke: "You mean you're not hung up already?"
This leads to a kiss between the two, ending the episode.
Hold on, before we move on to the next episode, a classic Fifteen Weekend commercial:
Girl One: Dylan is cool, but not as cool as Dillon on 90210
Gril Two: But he's better, this whole show is better
Girl One: Oh get real...90210 might be the best TV show ever made...they've got great actors, all kinds of stuff happens, and they drive cars.
Girl Two: Yeah, but Fifteen is more real. Let's face it...those 90210 guys are all like 29 years old. Anyway, 90210 never had an all weekend marathon.
Girl One: That's true...
It is better than 90210, but does that take much?
EPISODE NINE: Math *IS* Power
Billy and Courtney are at the Avalon, where we see that their father has tried to make up for the divorce situation to Billy by packing him a monstrous lunch. Billy tries to bring up the Dylan situation, and he tells her that Dylan likes Courtney as a friend, but Courtney doesn't want to hear it. Billy again tries to gather public opinion about Olaf, telling Courtney how no one likes Olaf. Courtney reminds Billy that Billy can be friends with anyone he likes.
At school, Kelly and Brooke discuss that Brooke has gotten an A+ on the paper Kelly's sister wrote. Brooke has decided that Kelly's sister should do all of Brooke's work for her. Theresa overhears, and jokes that Brooke should run for student council president. Brooke considers the idea apparently not seeing her sister's sarcasm. Ashley continues to feel bad about Matt's drinking, as she laments yet again with Jake. Ashley senses problems with Jake, too, but he falls short from telling her about his love for Courtney.
At "lunch", Olaf and Cyndi approach two random younger students with an environmental petition. Ironically, the only one of the four that survives until season two is the random boy student, who becomes Dave the trainer later on. Matt and two other basketball jock jerks come up during the scene, mocking the two wise students' plans for a better future. The character-soon-to-be-known-as-Dave ironically bitches at Matt for touching his sandwich, a far cry from the way he sucks up to him in future episodes. Brooke runs into Olaf and Cyndi soon after, surprisingly signing the petition. Brooke goes back to the two random students, informing how she's become a leader in the last two days. Another classic dialogue ensues, this time about Brooke:
Cyndi: What on Earth's come into her?
Olaf: I don't know...perhaps she fell on her head.
Later on, Brooke asks Ashley about the upcoming elections. Brooke finds out that no one has decided to run, including Ashley. Brooke informs Ashley that she's planning to run, which gets a laugh out of Ashley. But since soooo many people want Brooke to run, she's just going to have to make the sacrifice. Enter now into another dream sequence, as Brooke stands on her podium, listening to the wild crowd, talking about her integrity and honesty (please). Ashley gives her the requisite strange look.
At the Avalon, Billy and Olaf meet up. Olaf's heard about the party, but apparently Billy doesn't want to invite him, even though Olaf was "famous for his partying back in Finland." Some excuse about not enough room at the apartment...tsk tsk Billy. As Billy leaves the scene, Kelly enters the Avalon to tell everyone that Dylan's concert has been canceled...BECAUSE DYLAN FORGOT TO TURN IN HIS MATH ASSIGNMENT! Billy is devastated!
At the locker room, Matt and Jake are talking. Matt apologizes about blowing up earlier, but apparently Jake is down for other reasons. Matt offers his friend a listener's ear, with Jake finally telling Matt that he wants to be more than a friend to Courtney. Matt suggests Jake talk to her, but before he can offer more advice, random teammate comes in with the Dylan cancellation news. Speaking of, back at the lockers, Courtney and Billy are discussing the cancellation. Billy is still all torn up about his lack of memory about turning in Dylan's homework. Courtney assures Billy that it's not his fault; after all, Dylan should turn in his own damn assignments. Courtney thinks it serves Dylan right, but Billy is thinking more of the repercussions in terms of the two's friendship.
At the Avalon, Kelly and Brooke are discussing the cancellation, and of course Brooke thinks it reflects poorly on her that her new boyfriend is now Hillside's biggest loser. Ashley and Matt enter soon after, and Ashley feels sorry for him. Matt doesn't (of course), and he doesn't want to hear Ashley feel bad for him, and he even thinks that she might have a thing for him. Jealous freak. Ashley bitches him out about it. Dylan enters the Avalon soon after, and Ashley and Matt even manages to offer Dylan sympathy about the concert. Brooke is much colder, and even goes as far to say she doesn't respect him when he asks Brooke to the mall. An awkward scenario enfolds soon after, when Theresa and Billy both show up. Theresa is shocked by her sister's reaction and tries to apologize to him, while Billy offers the same. Dylan leaves the scene, leaving both disappointed.
Back at the school, Cyndi and Olaf are looking at the results of the petition...48 names, as well as some wiseguy that signed "Sylvester Stallone." Olaf confides in Cyndi that he thought Billy was his friend, but Cyndi reminds Olaf that Billy's just a kid. Olaf doesn't understand why he's weird "here" (Canada), but since Cyndi is weird too, why don't the two just become friends. When Dylan shows up, Cyndi offers apologies and realizes that Dylan came back to talk to the principal...apparently old Zimmerman didn't cut Dylan any slack.
At Chez Brooke, Theresa enters and wonders why Brooke treated Dylan like such a jerk. Theresa starts to bitch Brooke out about the way she treats people, calling her shallow, selfish, and egotistical. One of these days, someone's going to get her back, according to T.
EPISODE TEN: It's Time to Parrrrrrrty!
At school, Brooke runs into Theresa and wonders if Theresa is going to apologize. No luck—Theresa meant every word she said. Brooke tells Theresa to drop dead. At the locker room, Matt is still bitching about the coach, and with the playoffs a week away, the coach has decided to change the offensive scheme away from making Matt the star. Matt, the insensitive jerk, continues to mock Jake's melancholic state of Courtney. Matt tells Jake to make a decision about things.
At school, Olaf commits yet another English blunder...let's go to the tape:
"My theory is that Bart Simpson is actually Finnish...he spent his young years playing chess, so people kept calling him a weenie...this gave him his altitude problem."
Brooke comes up to them later, and finds out that the petition worked; the school WILL have recycling bins. She goes as far as to say she deserves part of the credit, since she's talked recycling up with all her friends. But Brooke of course doesn't want to work on building the bins...she has to repaint the kitchen. BITCH. Jake enters later, ready to talk to Courtney. But in a classic, "apparently I'm not listening to you" scene, Courtney interrupts and starts talking about her and Dylan...again. Hello, yesterday's trash. She thinks Dylan needs someone to be there for him, after all this stuff happened, and she's decided to give Dylan one more chance. So long, talk with Courtney.
Brooke's worried that she's too busy to run for student council president, but since she's deluded herself into thinking people want her to run. Kelly gets a laugh out of the whole thing. Brooke thinks that Kelly needs to spread the word about Brooke's candidacy. Kelly gives a cute smirk. At the Avalon, Matt bitches about Williams to Ashley. Ashley continues to stand up for the coach, hoping to get Matt to just shut the hell up, but Matt's ego is too wounded by the "He doesn't get the starring role" offensive scheme. Matt's convinced the only thing to do is just bitch the coach out.
In the next scene, a rare chat between Jake and Dylan. Jake's gotten the balls apparently to tell Dylan he doesn't like the way he's treating Courtney. Dylan, still angry about losing the concert, regains his rebellious charm to tell him to keep his nose out of his business. At the Avalon, Kelly and Theresa are talking about Brooke's delusions of grandeur. Kelly mentions that the election is just a couple of weeks away, and there is still time for things to screw up.
Back at school, Matt enters despondently and meets up with Jake. How did the meeting with the coach go? Not well, Matt's been kicked off the team. Did I hear a beer can open? Actually, it's a soft drink. Jake can't believe it, but Matt's apparently not a team player in the eyes of the coach. Jake says "I told you so," which makes Matt less than happy. Jake strokes Matt's ego about his talent, and all Matt can say is, "Forget basketball...it's Friday night, and there's a party to go to...and tonight, I'm really going to party."
Now we have a new setting...Billy's and Courtney's dad's apartment. Courtney is actually wearing something presentable as she sets up for the party. Careful eyes will catch Courtney dropping a cheeze doodle, and momentarily pausing to see if she should pick it up. Should have reshot the scene, especially when Courtney steps on it seconds later. Billy's worried things will get out of hand (like these guys are wild?). Courtney is more worried about whether or not Dylan will come. Billy doesn't want to see him, especially after Billy thinks Dylan hates him.
At the Avalon, Ashley is shocked that Matt's been kicked off the team, while Matt is playing the thing off. Ashley thinks the two should spend time together, instead of going to the party. But Matt wants to party! Matt says he'll meet her at the party, because he has things to do (that's buying beer).
Later that night, at the party, Matt and Brooke are discussing the big news about Matt getting kicked off the team. Both of them get a laugh out of it. Ashley shows up wearing some ugly overcoat, and wonders where Matt is...in fact, Brooke and Kelly wonder the same thing. The two wenches start pressing Ashley for information about Matt's feelings. Ashley's not too interested in talking to them. Dylan enters soon after, meeting up with Brooke, who wants nothing to do with him. Courtney's raging hormones, however, are definitely willing to talk to the failed rock star. She, of course, fails miserably, and even gets dissed when she puts her arm on him ("Can't you get it through your head, I'm just not interested," he tells Courtney). This scene is made even more awkward when Billy comes in and tries to apologize as well. While that fails around them, we see Jake come and rescue Ashley...something's up with Matt, and she has to come immediately to help. Insert scary music, and episode ends...
EPISODE ELEVEN: Matt: Chug! Chug! Chug!
Ashley and Courtney are talking at the Avalon on Monday morning, and both are upset about the way the weekend turned out. The consensus? Guys can be real jerks sometimes. Apparently Courtney doesn't know what happened while the party was going on...according to Ashley, Matt was just feeling bad about getting kicked off the team. At the girl's locker room, Kelly and Brooke are still clueless about what happened, but the two are very interested in finding out what happened.
At school, Olaf and Cyndi are putting the recycling bins out around school that they worked all weekend on. Brooke enters and continues to try to take credit for the program, while Cyndi and Olaf have now grown wary of her game. Brooke and Kelly move over to Ashley, where we find out that Brooke has "officially" decided to run, with Ashley wishing her good luck. By the way, Brooke has now officially organized the recycling program...whatever. Brooke and Kelly would love to know why Ashley left the party early, but Ashley says nothing's up. The two KNOW she's lying.
Later at the Avalon, we finally get the skinny on what went down last Friday as Matt and Ashley chit chat...Matt had a "few beers"...so what? According to Ashley, Matt was falling down drunk in the park. Jake went to help, and when Ashley got there, Matt was flat on his face throwing up. Ugh...Matt apparently is going to be the fraternity type. Anyway, Matt still seems to think there's nothing wrong with a little public vomiting and having to be snuck in his parent's house. Matt says the subject is closed, and she dare not mention it to anyone else:
Ashley: "Matt, I'm only trying to help...but at times like this I honestly don't know why I even bother!"
Back at school, Courtney and Jake are talking. About? Dylan, of course. Courtney was a complete fool in her terms. She'd built a sand castle in the air, just because the guy kissed her. Self-pity ensues, with Jake giving good advice. Courtney said she deserved it, but also admits she never wants to see him again. Finally, she apologizes for dumping on him. Jake sees the opportunity to mention his love to her, but again is thwarted...he tries to set up a date with her, but she interprets it as a joke ("Do you get that tounge-tied when you ask a girl out for real?" she asks laughing at him).
Now we see Brooke talking to random students about the recycling program, saying she had "some help" in building the bins. Olaf and Cyndi overhear the speech, and Olaf gets some choice words in at Brooke, saying that the hoe helped on the recycling program as much as she did in building a runway at the airport. Brooke leaves slightly humbled by our Finnish friend. Brooke needs to know when her "campaign manager" Kelly is going to make signs for her campaign. Brooke also needs to know when Kelly's sister can write her geography paper. The wheels are turning in Kelly's head to manipulate the situation to her benefit...:)
At the lockers, Billy and Courtney are discussing family life again...Courtney's trying to set something up with her brother after school, but he's still upset about the way he let Dylan down. Of course, Courtney, the Dylan hater she now is, is trying to assure her brother that Dylan isn't worth the trouble. Apparently Dylan overhears that, and tries to apologize. Courtney gets the balls to leave him with his troubled conscience. Meanwhile, at the Avalon, Jake and Ashley are speaking, and Ashley's apparently behind in class, thanks to Matt's awful treatment of her. Matt is starting to "drive her crazy", and the two of them are out of answers. While they discuss his drinking problem, we see that Kelly has overheard the whole thing!
Kelly runs to tell Brooke what happened back at school, with the obvious garnishing of details (Matt almost died of alcohol poisoning). Cyndi stops by at the garage (what?), there to tell Dylan that he blew things with the concert, Courtney, Billy, etc. He should apologize...After school, Matt is waiting for Ashley, and her yearbook committee meeting has run overtime, and he's upset. He'll come back to meet her at 4:30...
Then, the big scene: Matt decides to kill time at the Avalon, where he meets up with Brooke. After some chit chat about her damn election campaign, when she finally cuts to the chase. Brooke knows about the drinking thing, tells him about it, and says...she heard it from Ashley! Back at school, Olaf runs into Billy and offers his friendship services again. It appears that the friendship between the two is back together, and they're "playing chess" again (wink, wink).
At the Avalon, Kelly is making a pay phone call to someone about something...all we know is that Kelly "can't wait to see the look on Brooke's face" when Brooke finally "gets what she deserves." Back at school, Matt shows up finally and meets up with Ashley in an angered rage. Matt yells at her, accusing her of telling the whole school about his problem. He leaves with a ruckus, and apparently their relationship is off!
EPISODE TWELVE: Things at Hillside Begin to Go Awry
At the Avalon, Ashley tells the whole story to Jake. Ashley is damn shook up, and Jake can't believe what's gone down. Of course, neither of them told anyone...so how did someone else know? Jake thinks maybe someone saw them at the park. Jake offers help, but Ashley knows that talking to Matt won't work. Ashley doesn't even know if she wants to make up with him. And Ashley has a math test to worry about tomorrow, how will she cope? In Ashley's terms, she's starting to go crazy. Of course, if this school had counselors, she could have gotten around things, but that would have been the easy way out.
The next day, Courtney and Billy are talking in the school, and Courtney wants to know if her bro will hang with her after school...but it appears that Billy has moved on from Dylan to Olaf...well, the two are just hanging out, whatever. Anything to make this plot line a bit more interesting. At the lockers, Ashley is a wreck. She studied for eight hours and can't remember a thing. Courtney and Ash discuss all of her problems, blah blah blah. At the lockers, Jake is trying to convince Matt that Ashley is innocent of telling the school about his drinking problem...then Matt tries to accuse Jake of spreading stories. Matt's very angry here...has he been drinking? Matt gives Jake the same shut up or stop being my friend ultimatum that Ashley got.
Brooke soon enters and see Ashley writing something (we'll find out it's a cheat sheet). Brooke offers apologies about the breakup (that she caused). Ashley doesn't want to talk about things, but Brooke won't shut up. Ashley finally yells at her and runs off in a storm. Brooke then moves over to talk to Olaf about the whole thing. Apparently Olaf didn't know. Then they start talking about the geography project; Olaf's been working a ton, but of course Brooke is taking the cheater's way out.
At the Avalon, Dylan runs into Courtney, wanting to go somewhere private. Dylan tries to apologize, but Courtney pulls out all the stops in a well-acted scene:
"I've got a right to choose my friends, and let me tell you something—you're not one of them."
Back at school, Olaf is still working on his paper, as Kelly stops by. Kelly makes some bizarre chatter, then leaves a second later. Billy shows up a second later, still upset about Dylan. Olaf tells Billy that Dylan might be just as upset. The two need to have a talk, in Olaf's mind. Jake runs into Courtney a second later, still a little bit riled up about the way she bitched out Dylan. Jake thinks that was the best course, but of course Courtney's still got emotions for the guy. In fact, Courtney is on the no one wants me kick (Dylan, my parents...) Jake stands up and puts his arm around Courtney's shoulder, as she continues to go on her self-pity kick. In what is undoubtedly the most awkward scene in the entire run of the show, Jake sees this opportunity as perfect timing to lock lips with Courtney. She is of course shocked, and runs off in (insert emotion here).
At the Avalon, Olaf runs into the despondent Jake, prophetically saying that, "You look like a guy who lost his best friend." Apparently, the two have a lot in common when it comes to not being appreciated at school. In fact, Jake still wants to be someone's boyfriend, not the "world's biggest dufus." After Jake leaves, Olaf discovers something shocking...his geography notes have been stolen! In the girl's locker room, Kelly and Brooke are chatting...apparently Ashley just got caught cheating on her big test.
At school, Jake and Ashley are talking about Ashley's cheat sheet we saw earlier. Apparently the whole class saw Ashley's humiliation. Ashley's afraid the school will think she cheated on everything she ever did. Brooke and Kelly come over to offer "support," although Brooke is "disappointed." After Ashley runs off in embarrassment, Jake tells Brooke that if "You were a guy, I'd be tempted to bust you in the head." Yikes.
At the garage, Dylan is "playing" the guitar (see note above re: manufactured music). Billy shows up at the door, wanting to apologize (still). Dylan apparently has forgiven his friend and offers him the drum set. At the Avalon, Jake runs into Matt and the two have a huge fight about the way he's treated Ashley. Meanwhile, Kelly's on the phone with mystery person, and Kelly's "done" what she said she would.
EPISODE THIRTEEN: The S**t Hits the Fan!
Our season-concluding episode begins with Theresa and her little yellow jumpsuit number entering Brooke's room. Brooke is looking over the geography paper that Kelly's sister wrote for her. Theresa better keep her mouth shut. It also appears that Brooke is finally officially announcing her candidacy (again?) for president. At the Avalon, Olaf, Cindy, and Jake (huh?) are meeting up, and Jake apparently "doesn't look so hot." Ashley apparently hasn't been going to school lately, and friends are worrying about Ashley's mental state. Olaf has apparently not found his notes, also.
Brooke's at school, asking for support for her campaign among Dave and some random girl who wants more dances. Dave wants less homework (like that's going to happen). Meanwhile, Kelly and Dylan (huh??!) are talking, and for the first time, Kelly tries to make the moves on someone. Dylan doesn't seem to be buying her offer. Poor Kelly, not enough episodes to devise a plan against him.
In the locker room, Matt and Jake are talking, and Matt wants an apology from him. He's not biting. Matt's tried calling Ashley apparently, but she won't talk to him. Jake lectures him, telling him the responsibility is Matt's for fixing things. At school, Brooke and Kel are talking about Ashley, and Brooke may actually feel sorry for the wayward student. Kelly has made some primo signs for her campaign, and is ordered by Brooke to put them up.
Meanwhile, Jake and Olaf are talking, and we hear that Olaf is going to ask his teacher for an expansion, er, extension on the paper due date. Kelly overhears and offers the possibility that maybe the notes aren't lost, perhaps they were stolen. Kelly suggests it could have been a fellow student that didn't want to do the work. There is some obvious foreshadowing here on Kelly's part. She'd swear there's something fishy going on here...(well they are near a major sea port)...
At school, Courtney meets up with Jake. Apparently, Courtney didn't have much luck talking with Ashley either. Court feels a bit chipper actually, because she's been selected to write a play for her class. She uses this to segue to apologize for the way she acted towards him. Can they still be friends? Yep. In fact, Jake asks her out to a play that weekend...and she accepts! At the Avalon, Billy and Theresa (huh?) are caught in a major staring match, which Dylan oversees. Dylan wants to know if anything's going on between the two (jealous?). Dylan would like to know if Billy will become a permanent drummer for the band he's thinking of putting together, and of course Billy accepts.
At school, Cyndi and Olaf are talking, and we find out that he got an extension on the paper. And after Olaf finishes his paper, Olaf has been asked to organize a debate on discrimination. The two also talk about Jake, and how girls aren't attracted to him (in so many words). In the locker room, Kelly sees Brooke in a rush. She's gotten a note from the principal, and of course Brooke thinks it's because of her campaign signs. But we know better.
We soon see Matt and Jake...Matt saw Ashley apparently. Of course, no one can get anything out of Ashley. Apparently her parents have thought of pulling her out of Hillside and putting her in a private school. But the problems don't end there. Matt's parents have found his alcohol stash and now they want to put him in a treatment centre. Matt's hit rock bottom here, as he watches his whole world fall apart. Matt runs off, with Jake in tow. At the same time, Kelly enters with unbelievable news for Olaf...his notes have been found. Where were they? In Brooke's locker! The plan, for those of who you who didn't figure it out? Kelly and Theresa schemed up a way to get back at Brooke, and this was it. Courtney hears too, as we find out that Brooke (well, Kelly in truth) wrote her paper based on Olaf's notes. And of course that means Brooke can't be Student Council president anymore.
Brooke enters the scene later, horrified at what has developed.
Brooke: "You did this to me...don't play that game with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about."
Kelly has a card though; after all, if Brooke wants to plead her case, Kelly has proof that Brooke has been buying papers from her sister...tsk tsk tsk. Courtney bitches out Brooke, shocked that she used to look up to her.
As the episode and the season wind down, Jake's at the Avalon, with Cyndi giving him a pity chat ("Hey, you really are kind of cute.") Gag. At Brooke's house, B is bitching to her sister. Apparently, Brooke doesn't know that Theresa knew about it. Brooke starts to cry, needing help, but Theresa won't stay to hear it. Classic bad acting as Brooke starts to throw a pillow but doesn't have the nerve.
Okay, something odd is going down at the garage. Without telling us, Dylan, Cyndi, Billy, and random fourth person have formed a band and started practicing. They sound awful. Back at the Avalon, Kelly is talking to Theresa, who admits to Kelly that Brooke is all torn up. Kelly is quite smug about the whole thing, while Theresa feels guilty. Uh oh. Brooke has overheard the whole thing. Brooke vows to get them back, but of course since both of them end their Fifteen runs here, that won't happen.
The season ends with that random band performing over the closing credits...
What will happen in season two? Stay tuned!
