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Mummy told me not to tell you

If you have ICQ, what's your number? . I also have Yahoo! Pager (to check my Yahoo! mail), so if you insist on using that, tell me your ID:. When I changed to ICQ, I was impressed. I reccommend upgrading. I won't even consider installing AOL Instant Messenger. No matter what you and your friends use, an all-out switch to ICQ really is worth it.

Please enter your website URL, or just a cool one:

Is this URL... What URL?My site. Why don't you link to it? Another site you should link to A cool site, but it's too dodgy to link to ;-)

I like ticking boxes!

To help develop the site, I need to know what you want.
I find websites all about the author Really boringBoring! No, wait, mine's like that! They're great! :) Intresting. You can find about...pet's names worldwide!Other
Rant zines areGreat when you agree, funny when you don't Cool, they're usually funny The second biggest waste of webspace after bios Just a bio in disguise (here are my interests)Pointless, no-one else cares Other
Surveys are OK, as long as the rest of the site's thereA total waste of visitor time and bandwidthJust plain boring Fun to fill inOther
Mined stuff is Not usually as good as the original sitesDownright lazy A useful time saverother

Popup windows:

I hate advert windows
Don't like adverts, but I suppose we've got to put up with them
They're OK

I hate windows telling me to get a plugin, a button would do
I don't mind being told about plugins

I hate windows that are part of the site, they still get in the way
As long as the window has actual site content in it, I think it's OK

Thurstons Greggs / Opal Fruits Starburst / Coco Pops Choco Krispies / Marathon Snickers / MasterCard Access are the right names
I deliberatley chose the other names just to annoy you

Crimes: please rate them from 1-10 where 10 is worse.

Far too many 404s 1 234 56 78 9 10
Lack of updates 1 234 56 78 910
Terrible colours 1 234 56 78 910
Useless background that makes it unreadable 1 23 4 5 6 78 910
No-one cares about the webmaster's own boring life 1 234 56 78 9 10
Annoying, cheesy animated GIFs 123 4 5 6 7 8910
Big and slow graphics1 23 4 5 6 78 910
Bad navigation 1 234 56 78 910
Big list of random links with no idea what's good12 34 56 789 10
Generally scrappy1 23 4 5 6 78 910
No twiddly bits1 234 56 78 910
Lack of content1 234 56 78 910
New Suggested Crime:

How DO you get to Sesame Street?

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£50 proofing fee for unsolicited commercial e-mails. And I'll forward a copy to your ISP's accounts department. So don't mess.