 
DISCLAIMER
1. Don't wear corduroy pants if your thighs touch at the top. It means you can't
eavesdrop because they can hear you coming in advance, and they stop bitching.
2. Always be the second last person to go to bed, so no one else can bitch about you.
3. Make sure you're the second person up in the morning so you can talk about the others, before they talk about you.
4. Hunting in packs and using weapons made from sarcasm makes one feel more comfortable.
5. Make friends with any couples in the sharehouse. That way you stand a better chance of being in the majority on most domestic issues.
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7. Don't lie on seagrass matting without a shirt on - you get an itchy back.
8. When two flatmates still touch it means they haven't done it yet.
9. Secrets and gossip give you power.
10. Don't hide a vomit with a flat mates cushion. It only makes them angry.
11. Secrets about other flatmates give you power.
12. Get the front room in a sharehouse so you can sneak your washing out for your parents to do without anyone knowing.
13. When two flatmates stop touching, it means they've done it.
14. Pretend nothing happened and the problem goes away.
15. If a flatmates eyebrows arch when they say: 'No, I didn't drink all the milk' - they're lying.
16. Never sleep with a flatmate.
17. If you do, your a f**kin legend.
18. When a man sees another man naked, it's fine to take little bird-like glances. But if you stare too long, you appear unsettling.
19. Clothes are clean even if they're dirty providing they haven't been seen for two weeks.
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23. If you're not funny yourself, try teasing a third person.
24. A firm shower can feel like an experienced lover's hands.
25. Sarcasm makes you feel comfortable.
26. Never stare directly at a naked flatmate, little birdlike glances are best.
30. When you're isolated, you look pathetic.
31. One way to stay awake at a dinner party is to talk about yourself.
32. The straighter they are, the more likely.
35. A well developed butt is not always an advantage.
37. You always get a little cheer when you pull your pants down in a share house.
38. If you're eavesdropping, don't look directly at the person you're eavesdropping on.
40. A closed door creates interest.
41. You always get a little cheer when you pull your pants down in a share house.
42. If you want to be rude in a share house, do it in the first two hours. People are always polite to strangers for at least two hours.
44. How to stay interested at a dinner party: talk about yourself.
50. Sound travels better when you're underwater.
51. Clothes that haven't be seen for three days can be considered clean.
55. If you're not funny yourself, tease a third person.
56. What about Jen?
Tips without numbers
- Don't let other members of the share house pull your pants down and drag you across the carpet.
- It hurt's more when you have seagrass carpet.
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DISCLAIMER. Tips one to twentyfive appear courtesy of the TripleJ Brekky Show page. You may have noticed some of the above "Tips for Share House Living" seem to be repeated. Since this page has no official affiliation with Triplej or The Sandman, accuracy is totally reliant upon what he tells us over over the radio. Sometimes tips are just listed twice. Why? - Fucked if I know. I will not accept responsibilty if somewhere along the way I have ballsed up the TfSHL. This is not a complete list by any means and I welcome any tips not appearing in the above list. |
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