Episode 89

Bill and Candy are gone, and Robert from Brisbane is in. Sandy and Robert are in the kitchen and we are just about to hear Robert speak for the first time . Robert is having a cup of tea (which he didn't ask permission for), and he is using the green mug with the mexican motif on it, this is the mug the housemates give to knobheads so that they all know the person is a knob. Instead of saying 'hi' or 'good morning', he starts off "I don't think I should pay the first weeks rent because the last tennants left the room so filthy." We definately have a whinging mumma's boy here.

One by one the house mates make their way into the kitchen to greet (yeah right) Robert. Secretly, they're all there to see Robert walk like a dressage horse. When he does walk he lifts his feet up unusually high , as if he is afraid to get the bottom of his shoes dirty. Everybody starts laughing to themselves. It becomes to much for Lexie, she accidently blows a big green a snot bubble, making the others laugh out loud...to be continued...

Episode 90

It's been 3 three weeks since Robert the tidy school teacher has moved in, and he's already running the place like a weekend church youth group getaway. Since he has moved in there's always milk in the fridge, they have: a shopping roster; a shower curtain; 8 of the downstairs holes downstairs have been mended; the house is tidy (!), Ruby's got headphones for watching late nite TV and her pets are outside; AND they even have a shower curtain. Sandy feels like he is living with his parents in a world of rugs and doileys. Noone has said anything to Robert though, me thinks they might be a little scared of him. Sandy is also nervous that Paddle will realise that s/he is no loger in control of #204, this will lead to conflict and Sandman hates conflict

All of this new found order has driven the housemates away 1 by 1. Lenny's hoofed it to Taree to see his old's. Lexies beens staying at her new boyfriends and Ruby only comes out at night. If you know you're maths that means only Sandy and Robert are in the house. Just Robert and Sandy.

TWO things of importance happened today.

1. The owner of 204 Bell St wrote to say he has put the house on the market; and
2. Lexie wants to have a dinner party where each housemate brings a date

Episode 91

Everyone has to bring a date to Lexie's dinner party. Sandy thinks Lexie wants the port party to show off her new boyfriend, Lincoln, but it also gives the housemates a chance to check out Roberts girlfriend. He calls her three times per week, at exactly the same time. He makes everyone leave the room when he rings her, but they stay near enough to listen and compare notes.

Sandy tells us that Robert has a very strict schedule.

• he gets up at 7.30 am exactly
• showers at 7.40 for three minutes exactly
• leaves for work at 8.25 exactly
• gets home at 4.35 pm, you guessed it, exactly
• eats one minute after A Current Affair, exactly
• goes for a bog exactly four minutes after his cup of tea with exaclty three tea leaves in it
• spends exactly six minutes on the crapper (Lenny claims that he either has odourless poo or doesn't go at all. But he must go because of the old saying if u don't eat, u don't shit. And if u don't shit u die).
• goes to bed at 10.45, exactly
• complains about the TV being too loud at 11.15 and at 11.45pm, exactly

The impending dinner party has also put the pressure on Ruby and the Sandman to come up with dates. Paddle has his boyfriend Rubenwho is friendlier and betterlooking. This causes a fight between them because he picks up more, they threaten to break up but then they make up. And Lenny has his girlfriend, Skye. She is a blonde PE teacher who is a heavy drinker and likes to talk dirty.

That just leaves Ruby, the six-foot goth and Sandy ...to be continued...

Episode 92

The Sandman is freaking out at the prospect of finding a date for the Bell St couples only port party. The pressure is really on him and Ruby to come up with suitable partners. Sandman considers his options. There's Virginia, but that would be too embarressing considering he shagged her on her mums car and Paddle told every one, and theres Gail, the older lady from TAFE who he snogged on chair. The Gail thing happened over 6 months ago but Sandman hasn't seen her since, because she's been hurt before and wants to take it slow.Sandy wanders whether Ruby will find a partner, he's never seen her with a man, or a woman for that matter.

This gets the Sandman thinking about how Ruby would go as a root, he thinks that she'd either blow his pants off or scare the shit out of him. Either way, it'd be the most exciting sexual experience of his young life. Ruby has a lot of love to give, just noone to give it too. When anyone sits next to her on the couch, she massages their hands. Maybe she is massaging the pressure points for the naughty bits, as some sort of foreplay. She's a nice girl, who gives Sandy good ideas. Ruby is the only one in the sare house who will listen to s longwinded sentence all the way through, she's a good listener. I think Sandy wnats to giver her knee trembler. Hes thinking about asking her to the port party

Episode 93

Sandy is at TAFE re-doing his year 12. It's geography today, but sandy can't concentrate. Firstly, because he can't concentrate when someone is reading to him. When he was a child and he's parents read something to him for a bed time story he couldn't concentrate. But if they made something up, he was about as riveted as the Sandman could get.

The second reason he can't concentrate is he is preoccupied with Gail. Gail is the 30 yr old divorcee who sands is considering asking to the coupes only port party. they had an intimate moment on a couch at a TAFE port party and she played with the sharp cartlidge on sandmans nose. That was six months ago but nothing has happened since because she wants to take it slow...to be continued...