Episode 105
It's 6.30, Saturday night. Everyone is gathered in the lounge room awaiting the arrival of Robert and Stephanie, where the fuck are they, we've been wating for almost a week now. Lexie has gotten off the tan bean bag to let Lincoln in. They follow her blundies with thier ears as she goes down the hallway. Clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp. It's a long hallway. They hear her laugh and talk as she opens the door for Linc.
Lexie cautiously comes into the lounge first, making sure it is safe for her boyfriend to come in. The housemates are in a dangerous state. They're expecting not one but TWO visitors tonight, and they've been waiting all afternoon. The housemates aren't a sadistic mob, well, maybe a little. But they do enjoy the hunt, and they're most favourite prey are the new partners of thier fellow housemates. Lincoln comes and everyone is GUFFAWED. They all think Shit! as they inhale with shock. This guy looks exactly like Richard Zaccaria (?!). He's tall, grey, and has got two shades this side of pink hair, which hangs precariously over onto his forehead. He shakes everyones hand one at a time, introducing himself as he goes. He shakes hands as though he is slipping you twenty bucks. Sandman checks to see if he did, just in case. ...to be continued...
Episode 106
Lexie takes Lincoln on a tour of 204 Bell Street, the rest of the housemates bitch about him. They all agree he looks like Richard Zaccaria (!?), and that he is not the person you'd expect to be rooting Lexie. There must be at least a twenty five year age gap between them.
Sandman announces that his job starts with the letter 'V'. Paddle acts really gay and says Sands should have told him this goss as soon as he heard it. Sandman apologises, because he fears the confrontation rather than the wrath of Paddle. Everyone has a guess @ Lincolns job, vet, vantriliquist, valuer, valet...As they try to have a sticky in the esky Lincoln carried in with him, they hear him and Lexie coming back. ...to be continued...
Episode 107
Lexie drops Lincoln off in the lounge and heads to kitchen to check on the baked. When she opens the door, the dogs start barking and the persian and Bell cat have a fight. Tip 37 (?) for share house living: When dogs bark every time you open the oven door, it's time to clean it.
Sandman, Paddle, Rueben and Lincoln are in the lounge room. Lenny is in his bedroom having love with his Amanda Coetzer look-a-like girlfriend. Lincoln, in a radio national voice over sounding voice, asks whats for dinner. Rueben says he's doing a wild mushy soup, when he says this he sounds really gay, it's supposed to make Paddle jealous. Lincoln says that the Reisling that he bought with him will go well with it (that's what must be in his esky). Rueben then asks Lincoln what he does for a crust. The answer is already in his throat and he's ready to blow it past his lips when.....
A key enters the front door. It must be Robert. They hear two voices when the door closes. One is Roberts. They've learnt to pick Robert's voice as it always sounds like he is whinging and 9 times out of 10 he starts a sentence with a negative statement. This time he has a bitch about some cat dung near the front door. The other voice they can hear is female...to be continued...
Episode 108
Paddle, Rueben, Lenny, Karen and Sandman, prepare to ambush Stephanie as she enters the house with Robert. They follow the footsteps up the hall. Even Robert walking saounds funny. Dissappointingly (another new word?), Stephanie and Robert go into his room instead of the lounge. His room is the first one, where Bill and Candy used to be. The train arrived eight hours ago, where the frickin' hell have they been. Maybe there is no Stephanie. What if Robert is making the sound effects of a second person, that'd pretty sad.
Lincoln wasjust about to tell what his job was when they got sidetracked with Stephanie, now he has dissappeared. Sandman sees Lincoln and Lexie pashing in the kitchen, when he squints it looks like Kate Cebrano and RIchard Zaccaria snogging. They barely move thier heads when pashing. Sandman wishes he was kissing her. But he has a lot of ground to make up since the weeing episode. One time when he was just a whippersnapper, Sandman, Lexie and her two girlfriends called Lexie too, all stripped in the garage. This made Sandman nervous, so he pissde himself. Lincoln catches the Sandman perving on him and Lexie, shit...to be continued...
