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"HEEEEEY-YA, BOYS!" Mistique walked into a clearing that was filled with waiting Arboan soldiers. She gulped a little. She had never seen an Arboan before, and now she could see that they were tall, muscley, greasy and hairy; a sure sign of brutal strength, and stupidity, as well. She strutted in front of them, holding onto the pot. "Are y'all waiting for lunch?" They all nodded, holding onto wooden bowls and spoons, but now a few had their swords out. They didn't recognize this girl. In fact, there had never been a woman on the Arboan army before, so who was she? She smiled while sweating at seeing such a sight of welcoming. "Come now, boys, I'm your new cook! Your last one caught a flu or something, so General Koso hired me on the spot. Haven't you ever heard of me before?" She grabbed a ladle out of a soldier's hand, much to his surprise. "I'm Mist the Master Cooker!" She ladled out some of the contents into the same soldier's bowl. "I've cooked for kings world wide! Everyone wants some of my food! And Koso wanted to try some of my delicious apple stew." The soldier stared at the slop in his bowl. She scowled disapprovingly at him, and she forced his spoon into it. "Eat, dear boy! The sight doesn't look to good, but it's delicious. It's also packed with nutrients that will help you get strong and defeat an army." She went over to the next, confused warrior, spilling the stew into his bowl. "It's also full of FIBER. Fiber's good for you, you know that, right? Of course you do," she said to the next soldier. She snickered inwardly. James had said that the apple stew had a terrible affect on the stomach anyway, why did she need to add in so many fiber boosters? She shrugged and had replied that whenever she cooked, she put fiber boosters in it. Force of habit. Besides, these strong, strapping men needed as much fiber as they could get. She continued on down the line, giving man after man stew, all the while speaking of how she had even cooked for the king of the island kingdom of Butterfrete. ~*~*~*~*~*~ After Mistique had left to find the men that were waiting for lunch, (and they knew that they were waiting for lunch, for Jessie had gone and knocked out the cook and she had tied and gagged him, leaving him in the forest), Jessie, James and Pika sat inside some bushes that were right in front of the tent Pika said belonged to Arbok. It was large and colorful, and it could accommodate an Arbok outside of its Orb. Arboks must almost be revered as deities in this little establishment, Jessie thought. Not all the men were at lunch, and Jessie was worried about that. How many men weren't eating Mistique's fiber-upped apple stew? If there were too many not eating it, then her plan wouldn't work. She needed more than half of the men sick and flatulent and not able to move a step without exploding in one form or another. But to her relief, most of the men that passed her by were the same ones over and over again. They must have been important officials in the army, too busy to eat lunch. Or they were too important to eat a common soldiers' lunch. A couple of them were probably even sentries. The redhead turned to James and whispered her plan to him. "Okay, James, you wait RIGHT HERE. Don't move an inch from this spot. Me and Pika will go into Arbok's tent and I'll get him back. If anyone is coming, warn me in some way. Whistle or something." He nodded, wiping drool from the corner of his mouth. "Righth." Jessie sighed and hoped she wouldn't die because of James' sickness. She picked up Pika and placed her on her shoulder as she stood. She peered hastily about, then dashed out of the bushes and into the colorful tent, leaving a sulking and pukish James behind. He settled dowon on the ground, finding a nice whole in the leaves to peer out of for any sign of trouble. ~*~*~*~*~*~ The inside of the tent was dim, but the few rays of light that were able to shift in was enough for Jessie to see her Arbok. He had a muzzle around his serpentine muzzle that was tied to a post, but he was curled around the post, dozing with a content smile on his face. Pika jumped off of Jessie's shoulder and patted Arbok on the purple cheek. "Pika pikachu! Chu chu!" The cobra's eyes opened slightly and he squinted at the yellow rodent. "Charrrrr . . ." he hissed. "Pikachu pi chu kachu!" "Charbaku!" Pika looked back at her owner and shook her head, as if saying Arbok wouldn't budge. Huffing, Jessie stalked up and untied the straps from the pole. "Look, Arbok," she whispered, "I'm sorry that I fed you applesauce." "Char . . ." "Apple stew, whatever! I'm just sorry. I apologize from the center of my heart. But I had no food left for you and James wasn't able to catch anything. And I didn't want you to go hunting 'coz I thought you might have fallen into the swamp and been swarmed by Grimers and Muks. Or you might have slithered into some quicksand." The Arbok continued dozing. "Arrrrbok!" she murmured sharply. "C'mon, you dumb snake! I apologized, what more could you want? Come on!" She tugged on the straps. Arbok's head jerked up to the movement, but he still stubbornly kept himself wrapped around the pole. So she yanked again, and again, but Arbok kept in one spot. Pika even assisted her in the tugging, but that didn't help much. Then he finally budged, startling Jessie and Pika into releasing the straps, causing them to fall back against the flap . . . ............ James peeled at some skin at his neck. He smiled slightly. 'It didn't grow any last night,' he thought to himself. 'Maybe the Taurous manure really worked. Or was it the poultice that did it? Either way, it feels much better.' He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his tunic. 'Now, I just have to get over this reaction.' Suddenly, he heard a clank and someone's voice. Quickly alert, he peered out the hole in the bush. "Once the men eat, we'll be able to move out, General Koso," the voice said. James inhaled deeply. 'Oh no . . .' A second voice said, "Okay, I'll be with my Arbok, Smeteus, preparing him for the fight." "Yessir." They weren't to the tent yet, Jessie could still get out safely. James puckered his lips and pressed his swollen tongue against his teeth, and he blew. Nothing came out but dribble. "Oh, Godsth," he whispered, then he tried again. More spit. He sobbed silently, what to do? He put his fingers to his lips and tried to whistle that way. He just managed to soak his hand. He peeked out the hole. It was just Koso, the other man had disappeared. He tried to whistle again and again, only able to make a "pbbttt" sound, which the general heard one time. But James kept silent long enough so Koso didn't investigate what that sound was. He was only ten feet from the tent flap. James covered his face with his wet hands. 'Ohhh, Jessie's gonna murder me.' He heard a familiar yelp and he jumped to his feet. As Koso and three soldiers passed by Arbok's tent, Jessie and her Pikachu came flying out, landing on their rears in the dirt. When they opened their eyes, they were met with four swords pointed at their noses. James swore something not nice, alerting the others to his presence. This had been a terrible couple of days . . . ~*~*~*~*~*~ All of the apple stew was gone, and all the men were sprawled out on the ground. Mistique had put enough fiber boosters in it to make a Kangaskahn fall to its knees in a second. She grimaced as she heard sounds that weren't too pleasing for a ANY lady to hear. She innocently whistled "Mistique's Song" while strolling away into the forest, but a shout from behind halted her. "You there! Stop!" She glanced over her shoulder. "Awww, sh---" It was the cook and ten guards, each bearing long, broad swords. They leapt over the proned and groaning soldiers and charged her. Her pupils became the size of pinpoints as she began to sweat profusely. This had been a terrible couple of days. She spun around and began to run, crying all the way, with eleven burly men after her with very sharp objects. "Jeeeeeesieeeee!!!! Waahhhhh!" ~*~*~*~*~*~ Smiling, Jessie stood slowly to her feet, the swords following her heart all the way up. Kindly, she said, "Come now, boys, I haven't come to hurt you. I just came to get my Arbok back. Is THIS the way you should treat a lady?" Koso sneered. "It is if the lady is Jessie." She gave a small exclamation. "Well, if you're going to be that way . . ." She swiftly grabbed her mallet out of nowhere, spun quickly around, hitting all four men in the head with it. One was knocked unconscious, while the other two and Koso stumbled back, grabbing their ringing skulls. She smiled smugly. "I speak for all ladies everywhere, so be nice or we'll all kick your--" "Jeeeeeesieeeeee!!!!" She turned around, facing the forest. "That wasth Miththique!" James stated as he leapt out of the bushes. Jessie glared daggers at him. "That was a nice whistling job you did there, James." He scowled back. "You thry tho whisthle when you theel like thish." He tried to whistle once more, spitting on Jessie. "Hey! Ew!" "Thold you." "Mistique!" Jessie called, ignoring James now. "Over here!" The erstwhile hero emerged from the woods, carrying the stew pot and ladle, a panicked look on her face. "Jessie! JessieJessieJessie! The cook got loose and ten soldiers are after me!" She skidded to a stop when she nearly ran into the two fighters Jessie had hit. "Oh no! Now what!" The three friends stood back-to-back as the cook and the ten soldiers, and the other two from before, (Koso was oddly missing), gathered around them, their swords gleaming in the light of the bright sun. "I guess we fight," Jessie answered Mistique's question. "I think these are the only soldiers that weren't at lunch. I recognized them passing by several times." James and the younger woman nodded. "Ith thish ish all, we can hanthle them," James stated holding his staff out in front of him. "That's right." Mistique unsheathed her short sword and pulled out an Orb of Power. Jessie held her mallet high. "Attack! Argh!" She lunged forward and immediately took two men out with her mighty hammer blows. "Go, Orb!" Mistique shouted, throwing the ball ball with all her might. It smashed into a man's nose, and opened. The warrior tumbled to the ground as Psyduck appeared suddenly atop his face. Mistique sighed. "Gods, I hate him." The cook nearly sliced her arm off as she grumbled about Psyduck, who was currently blocking all air passages of the soldier as he sat on him, and she shrieked and smashed the pot she still held into his face. He stumbled back, and tripped over the suffocating soldier. He landed on top of Psyduck, who wasn't too pleased at this treatment. His eyes began to glow a bright white. Mistique, while clumsily deflecting a sword slice, shouted gleefully, "Yes, Psyduck! Confusion, now!" Squawking his name angrily, his whole body glowed and a distortion of time and space hit everyone surrounding him, including Mistique, unfortunately, and she went flying back. She hit her head on a tree and slid to the ground, unconscious. Luckily, so did five other soldiers, and the one Psyduck still sat on wasn't going anywhere fast anymore. James barely acknowledged that Mistique had flown past him, for he was trying to save himself from the combined attacks of two soldiers. He finally managed to whack one on the head, and he collapsed to the ground, and Jessie smashed the other. There were no others, Psyduck had taken care of most of them, but then there was a clatter, and Arbok's tent flap fluttered open. "Arbok!" Jessie shouted. Koso had dressed Arbok in strange battle armor and he was riding away on him. "Coward!" she spat. Angrily, she turned on her heel and gave chase. James, astounded, chased after her. "Where'sth he goin'?" "I don't know," she replied. "But he's not escaping on MY Arbok! Ah, he's heading to the meadow, let's go!" They reached it in a short time, but they couldn't see Koso or Arbok anywhere. They glanced around. "You think they wenth intho the foresth?" the man inquired. "No, he was clearly up this hill last I saw." "Well, whath abouth thath grove righth there?" "Huh?" She glanced at where he was pointing. There was a patch of small apple trees nearby. She seemed to smile. "That's exactly where they are." "Why ish he THERE?" "James," she turned to him and shoved him back a little. "Stand away. He's going to charge me." "Whath?" "Koso's going to try to charge me. He's going to make Arbok trample his own master." James stepped back several steps. "Will you be all righth?" he asked with great concern in his voice. She faced the grove and nodded. "I'll be fine." James scratched his left hand. How did she know Koso was going to charge her? He squinted at the grove. He was barely able to see Koso and Arbok. The general was leaning over the cobra's hood, and Arbok's head was low to the ground. That was the stance Arbok made when Jessie wanted him to sprint. Jessie should know her Arbok's body language, after all, and this stance probably said to her, "Charge. Trample." He shivered and prayed that she'd be all right. The warrior stood out in the open, standing at her full height, her mallet still in hand but hanging listlessly. She stared ahead, not even flickering an eyelash when Koso gave the command to move. James clutched his staff tightly and watched in fear. Arbok looked as if he meant it. He was going to trample Jessie while wearing that ugly, fierce armor. His hood was covered with black, silver studded leather and he wore some sort of spike on his forehead that made him look like the legendary basilisk. He came closer, and closer, and Jessie just stood and watched, unmoving. James bit his lower lip, his eyes wide. What was she up to? . . . But as he watched, a flash of compassion came into Arbok's yellow eyes, and with a flurry of dust, he twisted his body around in a stopping skid. Halting so suddenly made Koso fly off, and Arbok accidentally ran over him as he slid. Arbok finally came to a halt, strewn out in front of Jessie. It was difficult for an Arbok to stop instantly after going so fast, but he did, and he did it for his beloved owner. She smiled and knelt by Arbok. She removed the ridiculous leather hood and metal spike and she propped his head in her hands and she stared into his eyes. "So, you forgive me, finally?" "Charbokuuu," he replied, nodding. She stood back up, with him following suit. "Are you all right?" "Char charboku." "Yes, that armor WAS ugly." "Jessie, thath wasth one oth the dumbesth thingsh I'the ether seen you do," James reprimanded. It might have sounded more threatening if he still didn't have that lisp. He walked over to the still body of Koso. She smiled as she watched him walk over in that direction. "Yes, it was very stupid, but it was very exhilarating. I didn't think Arbok was going to stop for a moment there." She and the snake joined by James' side. They stared down at the general. She nudged him with the toe of her boot. "He dead?" James nodded. "He doesn'th look thery alithe." She smiled. "How ironic, trampled by the very object of his affection; an Arbok." ~*~*~*~*~*~ A messenger Pidgey had been sent out for Prince Phil, telling him to return with a few soldiers to arrest the Arboan army that wasn't going anywhere fast. But the message didn't mention that there was a prospective bride waiting for him for when he returned. Mistique, Jessie, James, Pika and Lidite were sitting outside of the cleric's building, since the inside was full of sick Clover villagers. The cleric was putting a bandage around the orange haired girl's head. The wound she received from Psyduck's attack wasn't serious, just a small gash that was deep but not deep enough for stitches. It should also heal quickly, since she ate a lot of fiber. All of Clover was happy that their town was saved. They would have had a celebration, but, uh, that would have to wait for awhile until the fiber runs its course. Mistique was very proud, she had stopped a whole army without bloodshed. Well, Koso was dead, but that had been Arbok's doing, plus he wasn't BLOODY when he died, so technically, it was still a bloodless battle. And the soldier that was being suffocated survived and he was tied and held in the dungeon with the other soldiers that hadn't eaten the apple stew. Jessie was pleased that she had her Arbok back, and that they now had a new level of understanding, and James' lisp had disappeared, so he was very happy. Lidite, however, wasn't as joyous as everyone else was. She said that she loved Mistique very much, but running around with Jessie and James had turned her into an uncouth tomboy and she could never marry a prince and be a princess. Mistique smiled and said that she loved Nan very much, too, and she would somehow pick up the pieces and move on. Jessie whispered to her, asking why she didn't tell Lidite the truth about her father. Mistique answered that if Lidite knew that, then she would make Mistique stay and try to be a Lady again. Mistique was happy with the way things were. "And after all the pain people went through with gastric problems, and you guys with Muk rashes and T-lice, I came out of it unscathed except for this wound. I'm as fit as a fiddle! Now I'm a hero, and I might have a nifty little scar. Everyone should be well by tomorrow and we'll have a celebration. And I'll be the focus!" But that night, as they stayed in the palace, James force-fed her one of her leftover cookies as revenge. As a result, she missed the celebration. But she still might have that nifty little scar on her left temple. And she was still the hero of the day. The End
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